6 months and boyfriend has not said “I love you”

[Foodx123]

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months and we get on very well, never argued, great love life. We don’t see each other all the time. Maybe once or twice a week due to him working away.

I am not sure the relationship is progressing how it should be. I told him I loved him a few weeks ago and got nothing in return apart from how amazing I was. We have no spoke about meeting parents, going away. When we don’t see each other he isn’t great at texting. He’s definitely very physically loving whereas I am more into words of affirmation. When we meet and then go home I don’t get a text for about 8 hours and he never says anything romantic. I’m not sure whether I should express how I feel or accept we aren’t on the same wavelength and break up. I love him but get nothing in return verbally.

You need to speak to him properly. Ask him where you stand and where he sees the relationship going.

I have never said I loved anyone before 6 months. I might think it but I’ll not say it unless I am absolutely sure I mean it/know that they love me too. I didn’t go away on breaks or take them to meet family before that either.

Others are different. Some need words to confirm it. Some are happy with actions. Who knows?

Does he treat you well? Do you feel loved? He may have been hurt in the past and is cautious.

But what I can say is that he isn’t a mind reader. You need to talk to him. Good luck.

The not saying he loves you isn't necessarily a red flag on its own. I've been with someone just over 6 months and in starting to feel it but not said it yet, I get the impression he's similar but not said it yet.

The difference is that I don't doubt how he feels as he's always telling me and more importantly showing me. I've met his family (just in the last month) and he's always saying he loves spending time with me and misses me when he's not with me.

I'd worry less about the words and pay more attention to the actions. Doesn't sound like his actions are giving you much reassurance either?

I would treat this relationship with a healthy dose of cynicism. If he hasn't said it, it probably means he's not there yet. I think you need to be paying attention to how he's treating you and his behaviour.

Have you met some of his friends? What are they like? Have you tried to bring up the holiday thing? Working away is an easy covering of someone or something, so just be aware.

I don't think my DH and I said we loved each other untill we had been together for around 10 months. So I wouldn't worry about that.
The seeing each other once a week and not getting much out of him when you're apart - that's something I'd struggle with. I think you need a good sit down chat with him, if he is intimidated by the 'where is this going' chat, and you're at the I love you stage, maybe this isn't going to be the one as you're both on different pages. But maybe he just thinks everything is going well and is a bit lazy with texting! You'd probably get more from a 10 minute phone call in the evening than texts throughout the day, maybe if he's busy with work he'd prefer that?
I hope it works out for you, but if he's not putting in the effort and you're doing all of the chasing then cut and run and don't look back.

Maybe he hasn't said it because he doesn't love you?

I had a similar situation in the past.

He didn't like the "where are we going" chat or the "I find it hard that we only see each other once a week" chat. He'd make platitudes and conclude we didn't need that sort of conversation as we enjoyed each others company and should see where things go.

Only met 1 of his friends whereas he met several of mine.

He refused to talk on the phone at all. Would only text. Some nights it was intense, other nights nothing.

I told him I loved him to his face 8 months in. I got a "I really really like you, but I'm not there yet". Mentioned it again as part of a conversation 2 months later and he didn't acknowledge it at all.

Relationship made it to just over a year before ending.

Sounds like he's not into it as much as you, don't rush meeting the parents and holidays yet.

You say he's not great at texting but if you're complaint is that he doesn't text you within a few hours of you leaving, I don't see how that's so bad? You've just spent time together and he's messaging within half a day - why the need to be so intense?

Are you sure you're both on the same page? It doesn't sound like it to me.
Be careful of your heart OP broken hurts. 💐

6 months isn’t long when you’re only seeing each other once or twice a week. I don’t think you can know someone that well after a few months so I can’t blame him for not saying it, he may well not feel that way in such a short amount of time. It sounds like you might not be well matched though, time for a chat and possibly go separate ways.

You spend so little time with him, the I Love You is something YOU have come up with in your head. It’s 6m. You don’t know who he is. Not even close.

For example, it takes on average 18m to 2 years for an abusive man to show themselves for who and what they are. You won’t know that they’re anything wrong until you’re stuck.

im not saying he’s abusive, I can’t possibly know that. What I’m saying is after 6m seeing him only here and there in the week, you don’t know him enough either.

think about it. You’re enjoying the relationship, so’s he. If it’s going to work out, 6m is nothing in terms of time, so why rush? Enjoy the process, enjoy getting to know him.

for me I didnt even consider the relationship to be “a thing” until I’d got past a year. I was in my 40s and he’s absolutely the love of my life, but I made a conscious choice not to future fake myself. We just celebrated 6 years together.

So relax, observe him in all situations, let him do the same and see where it goes.

He sounds like your garden variety time waster who enjoys the benefits of sex and companionship but that's it.

DH didn’t tell me he loved me until about 18 months in! And he was crap at texting or phoning. Can’t get him off the bloody phone now!

I didn’t meet his parents until about two years in because (as I know now) he didn’t want his DM asking endless questions. Now I just tease him about the whole thing.

Give it time, you’ve been seeing each other for almost 6 months only once or twice a week, that’s not actually that much. Maybe he’s just not there yet. That’s ok.

I’m not sure whether I should express how I feel or

What would be your reasons for not expressing how you feel?