Hello,
i am I writing this for some help please on whether I am being ridiculous or maybe there is something there .
so I am 36 year old female and have my own little house with my dogs . I haven’t dated in over 18 months mainly because I was healing from other relationships and it’s good to be on your own and decide what you want in life .
a guy moved in next door in the little row of cottages where we live in December 2021 after the lady who lived there 45 years moved to be somewhere nearer her family but anyways , since December this new man had been living next door. He had previously and a relationship and lived with someone else for a few years but that broke down because she wanted to move closer to town again and he wanted to be out the way still.
We get on quite well I think. He’s 9 years younger than me . He likes hiking and outdoors activities and spends most of his time with his friends, fishing and going on holidays with his friends but there’s been never any woman or dating interests round his him in the last 9 months.
We’ve had quite a few long chats tbh . About holidays , tracking , kids , life ! Probably mainly me because I’m an over sharer but we talk about loads and I feel like I can talk to him about everything , you know like hit it off like the same things . We’ve been doing the same things at the same time like listening to the same podcasts or researching our family ancestors without knowing the other is doing it . If I go paddle boarding he’s had his out and gone paddle boarding.
I got into gardening so he left me a packet of seeds on the side. Iv offered him food before or brought his washing in . He’s left me food and sweets before today.
When he first moved in we talked about running and he said ‘tell you what why don’t you come running with me ‘ . At the time I was super unfit and he’s a fit young lad so I was like ‘you will outrun me I’m super unfit! .
He’s actually helped me quite a lot with things like my bike and car because he’s really good at stuff us woman tend to not know about .
I found a spooky hut in the woods once and he said ‘aw let me know and we will go have a look one day’. So I did ask him another day and said he couldn’t as he was going out . I felt a bit rejected by it and so iv never asked him again because I get the feeling he says things but never really wants to hang out with me .
When I got my push bike out to use to try get bit more fit he sorted the tyres for me and breaks and chain and I went out on it and came back and he opened his front door and said ‘how was it ?
I said ‘brilliant and he said ‘well tell you what we can go out one of the days . I said ‘I’d like that but his bike would probably be faster as he does that mountain biking up feels in the lakes .
He’s never asked me again and it’s been 4 weeks .
He went on holiday the other week and he left me a key to look after his pet tortoise . So I looked after that for him . He left quite vague instructions and I said I didn’t want to be messaging him annoying him while he’s on holiday and he said ‘Not to worry’ .
But sometimes I do feel like I bother him. Sometimes he won’t respond for me for a day bht is online .
I don’t know if he’s genuinely very reserved or gay or doesn’t like me . He added me on Facebook a few months after moving In and he doesn’t really use social media but he actually liked a story photo of my dog and I together . He’s never flirted with me or anything .
When he took his dog to a dog show he sent me a picture of her winning a Rosette. Like he thought to tell me which was nice !
We literally share the same back yard as it’s a shared one so I see him in passing so we do speak . Once he stopped me to ask to shave the back of his head . So I did and he pretended I had caught him with the shaver so I jumped . I mean sometimes we do have a laugh but I’m curious as if he actually likes me or doesn’t. He left me a bird book on my bin the other day from 1950’s because he said I would like it .
Things that make me think he’s gay which is absolutely nothing wrong by the way if he is is his friend is him in the profile pic , him and his friend. His friend is the same , him and his friend. There’s been no females round here in 9 months
He’s made a few remarks about gay sexuality but gesting . Something when I said about wearing a onesie . Or like about his bum hurting off the bike seat.
There’s actually a few comments on Facebook from a parent saying on the holiday they went on ‘who proposed’ and his friend said him and he’s the one for him.
His friend follows ‘gay’ homosexual and transgender pages .
They both not active on social media .
he was showing me a sunset pic the other month when he was doing some fishing and I asked about his day and i notification from tinder popped up but I tried to ignore it because I think he got embarrassed.
Weird thing about it is … I went to see a Tarrot card lady who has absolutely no knowledge of my slight crush and she said when I sat down and looked at the cards she said ‘who is … ‘ and said his name !
She said this is quite significant.
She never mentioned about him fancying me but then she said he’s feeling a little lost too and I need to stop mothering him which sometimes I do. ! It was so bizarre she said his name and exactly everything whcih was happening .
she also said a Scorpio would be significant in my life .
when I came home I was telling my next door neighbour about the reading but didn’t mention the bit about him . I just said a Scorpio is apparently going to be quite significant and he said ‘me then ! I’m a Scorpio. Which took me a little by surprise so I told him the actually reading and he wasn’t phased by it but then a few hours later he got his friend to pick him up . He doesn’t really have his friends come pick him up as he drives a truck and something in my head told me ‘he needed to go speak to his mate after I told him the reading . I don’t know , we all try to use our intuition don’t we .
My point it .. we live next door to each other. I don’t get the vibe he flirts fancies me but then he does little things like a few iv mentioned and makes me think maybe he does but knows or maybe we just ‘get on’.
One of my friends things he’s gay.
My other friend thinks ‘there is some level of investment in this friendship /neighbour stuff going on but could be totally platonic .
My issue is, I fancy him but I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself so I would need concrete evidence .
Ps.. he’s come home drunk a few times and iv witnessed that and he’s not divulged it drunk either but the next day he’s asked me if he was talking stupid stuff in his alcohol state.
Any advice whether if someone fancied you you’d know about it ? Or any idea if there is something there . Many thanks for reading my essay !