Positive thread for heartbreak

[summersunshine46]

I have created this thread for everybody who has been through a heartbreak and has been in so much physical and emotional pain and the thought of the future is very uncertain. What is your success story. I need some inspiration to help lift my spirits and anybody else’s who wants to hear that one day they will be happy again.

Essentially " this too will pass " ....I was on the floor with the physical pain of a betrayal and broken heart ..couldn't walk past where we'd sat , listen to the music we shared or even see mutual friends . I stalked online and drove to their work or home ..never talked to them but just sat ..a form of madness .
I stopped drinking and took on extra work to exhaust myself , luckily no joint kids but step kids I cared for who stayed around which was lovely if bittersweet . Eighteen months passed and I could barely remember what the fuss was about , no pangs , no sadness at all , places that were 'ours ' were meaningless ..everyone is different and the pain is real but it will pass .. Big hugs .

Yep , totally understand and been here . Firstly , you WILL get over this but you must go full no contact if possible. If you have children with them then limit contact . …. Secondly, if you can, change your mobile number so you ain’t carrying them around with you , jumping to every tex in hope it’s them etc …. thirdly, write a list of all the reasons you are no longer together, carry it around with you so when you have a panic attack, read it..… fourthly , change your bedroom furniture around , no idea why but it helped me …..and lastly , find new hobbies but not dating until your ready ……., that’s all I got on advice tbh but it worked for me . It took me 2 yr to get over him completely. No contact and self care was key , good luck . Remember it WILL past

Agreeing with the above. Break all contact and that includes mutual friends. Keep busy, cry, scream, wallow but whatever you do, don't make contact.

It goes. It can take longer than you could ever imagine, but it does go.

Its really hard when you share a child together, I also find it really tough around significant events, especially with Christmas coming up.

It’s ok to dread Xmas ! I did , I felt sick at the thought , and it turned out to be so much better than I dreaded . Boxing Day I thought , well that wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be , infact , even though I thought of him a lot, I actually quite enjoyed Xmas. ……. I can imagine it will be much harder when you share a child , do you mind me asking , did he break it off and you want him back or do you call it off ?

I separated last may so it’s been a while . I’m still struggling and can’t see me ever really getting over it even though it was my choice that he went .

I think self care is key in all things (I learned this to my cost)
Deeply abusive husband. Separation and divorce took close to 5 years (pandemic didn't help)

I'd say I feel a lot stronger now, however the unpicking of behaviour in therapy opened a new can of worms which I've more or less worked through; albeit a huge personal cost

I've lots more friends now, my kids are thriving and this helps to keep me on the bright side of life.
It's hard to value yourself when you've been so beaten down and discouraged but you can find slivers of hope in the smallest things
I remain single and I don't know if I'll ever be attractive to men again. That's a price im willing to pay while I heal.
It's a paradox though
Good luck OP

Trust me, it will pass but takes time.
You will be happy again but keep healthy, stay alert
and don't fall for sweet talk I'm sure you won't
millions are going through this atm, you will be good, trust me!

I’m struggling with this badly at the moment. The person in question is a work colleague and I have to face them everyday. I totally and utterly fell in love with them and they promised me the world. Unfortunately it seems that everything they told me was a lie. It’s totally broken me after an awful couple of years. I’m still so in love with them 😪

Struggling also even though instinctively in every way I know it was the right decision to end the relationship. It was very emotionally abusive and destructive by the end and I could not have my child around that (luckily he didn’t see anything but was beginning to pick up on atmosphere) Am currently signed off work, on anti depressants and am having many ups and downs. Any positive stories would also greatly help me.

my situation probably a little bit different to most. I split with ex 3.5 years ago. Then got close (no intimacy) at Xmas as we share a DD. When I left I was relieved now 3 years on its hit me as we both still have feelings but it was such a toxic and abusive relationship so even though my heart hurts I can’t go back.

I seen my counsellor this morning and she really helped me. She said just becuase you have feelings you don’t need to act on it. She said a lot of people still have feelings for their exes and may always have some love for them. But that is not always a reason to go back, and lots to back for the nostalgia.

Pleased you’ve seen a counsellor. Totally agree you can’t go back . Now knowing you’ve been split 3.5 yrs I would concentrate on very little contact . No need to be his friend , he isn’t a friend to you , he’s an ex only . Write that list of how you felt when things were bad in the relationship, the nasty things he said, the pain he caused . Read it often because this is the reality of your relationship, ….. think it’s time to self soothe, self care, and start looking for a lovely person to have some fun with and hopefully it may lead to something great , you’ve done the hard bit and your nearly there . Well done . Keep going