People are unhappy about our relationship

[Aprilshow]

I have been friends with a man for 7 months and we have recently got into a relationship. He had to tell one friend he met someone as a few months ago she told himself she liked him even though she has a fiance. He told her as the message was not getting through and her response was fair enough. He admits a few months ago he was flirting with her because he was in a low place and liked the attention (he regrets misleading her). At the time when she confessed her feelings to him he had to tell her he only saw her as a friend. Someone has posted a picture of us together online and she saw it and messaged him and said thank you for hurting her twice in one week, that her life is not great and that she will never find anyone else like him in her lifetime. It's like she is guilt tripping him for being happy.

This same woman was having some drinks with mutual friends which I have decided I no longer want to go as we will never be friends and she wants my partner. I have been told she has been saying bad things about me to manipulate him.

There is also another woman he has been friends with for 15 years and she has been grieving over someone she was dating and said she wants my partner and that she will wait for him.

I understand why they like him as he is a very caring man. We were going to wait a few months before going public but I feel stressed out now because that photo was leaked too early then these female friends are upset he has met someone and I am worried they will do what they can to split us up. My partner said I have nothing to worry about as he does not want them and that he has been waiting a very long time to meet someone like me. I have been waiting a very long time to meet someone like him too. I don't want to say anything to my partner as he may feel I am insecure and not any put him off though he says I can always talk to him about any concerns.

@Aprilshow how old are you all?

He sounds like an arrogant attention-seeking twat who craves the feeling of superiority he gets by leading loads of different women on, and then playing you for a fool by making out he can’t help all these women falling at his feet…

🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Erm...mature, emotionally responsible, decent men don't have multiple wounded, confused women in their wake.

Sounds like hard work tbh worrying about photos being leaked like you're a celeb. Not for me.

Agree. He's got so many women who'll wait for him, are you on your toes where he wants you? good God, how tedious. An emotionally secure person will get turned off by all the competition and confusion.

Have my first ever LTB 🤣
He’s a player and is priming you…he will control you to get his own way, if you don’t do as he pleases then he will leave you for one of the women that are waiting for him (this is what he wants you to believe). 7 months in and he’s already causing you grief but blaming it on other women.

Sounds like he wants to keep you on your toes by letting you know he's in such demand. Something seems off here.

Too much drama, too many women. It should be fun at the start of a new relationship, and all about just you and him.

Yeah definitely too much drama, who needs it.

that photo was leaked too early

Leaked? Really?

"Leaked photo"?!

You all sound like teenagers. How long have you even been together "officially" if you only met him as a friend 7 months ago?

Seems a bit soon to be calling him a partner and obsessing over his previous conquests.

If he's that into you you wouldn't need to worry like this, unless you all like the drama!

The OP is worried that she may come across as insecure but it sounds as though this dude actually wants her to be insecure.

He reminds me of my narcissistic, abusive ex. He thought he was God’s gift to women too and loved telling me how many women were waiting in the wings. I’d run a mile!

I'd say leave it, if he was the one keeping this secret, but he's the one who wants people to know, so that's less of a concern. I can't see why you'd want to keep it secret, it's about time you came out about it.
Tbh, these women have done nothing different than you did - hide their feelings for a time whilst being his friend. You have partly created this situation by hiding the relationship, they probably would of said nothing if it was clear he was with you. I think you've probably helped to create this situation.

He's clearly triangulating you. Sorry OP. I'd run a fucking mile

Have I got this right? The one who told him she liked him and that he led on, has seen the 'leaked' photo and said he'd hurt her twice in one week now.
To me this sounds like they actually had something going on tbh and hes ditched her very recently, probably giving her some crap about not being ready and then voila - a picture of you and him.
How long have you been actually together? because the fact it was all secret at the beginning, basically means there were people he didn't want to know about the 2 of you. And those reasons I can guarantee were not to protect anyone elses feelings, but to protect himself from any fallout.

And then theres another woman who will wait for him. again, probably been led on (or something actually going on) and hes giving the crap about not being ready.

If the photo hadn't been 'leaked' would you still be a big old secret?

And the line of waiting for someone like you. Sorry, but that makes no sense when it comes to the hiding your relationship part. if he was that over the moon in finding his one true love of his life he'd be shouting it from the tops of mountains and not giving a flying fuck what anyone else thought.

I think instead he is waving red flags galore from the tops of mountains. tread very very very very carefully here OP. I don't think he is quite what he appears to be portraying.

Triangulation, look it up. Don´t fall for this one. If he was really into you he wouldnt give a fcuk what others thought and would have binned the other two idios. He hasnt.