Hello,
I've just got back from a two week holiday with my partner of four years. I actually thought he might propose - it felt like we were in a good space.
But holidays can be tricky as he tends to be fine sitting in silence at meals, isn't tactile and doesn't make much eye contact. He has trouble connecting, and has said as much...
Anyway, the huge pluses and what attracted me to him are that he's loyal, honest, practically EXTREMELY helpful, I feel his love through 'acts of service' (when I'm able to focus on them), he loves animals like me and he's always willing to work on things.
But on holiday I got frustrated with him, as it's this time I seek the connection that's sometimes lacking, and touch - and he said he's not proposed because he thinks it might not work because I'd get frustrated with him. He loves me completely but doesn't want to failure of divorce, he's been mentally struggling, and feels he's wired completetely differenty to me and can't support well enough emotionally. He says he's got a number of a therapist and wants to go and get help, and for us to go together too to work on understanding each other.
I feel so utterly torn. Half of me thinks it's great he's opened up and maybe we can make it work - and half of me feels utterly flat, and like I'm destined to be alone and torn up about this relationship inevitably ending.
I'm 43, no kids and both parents are dead - and despite what I've said, our relationship works on a 'day to day' level. He's amazing around the house and never complains. It's just the connection, and being able to really chat and be easily intimate that is hard.
I just feel so utterly low but will see if the therapy helps him - his sister says this could make us a lot closer. He says it could be the making of us, but when you're wired differently like us, can it ever be...
Thanks for listening.