Please tell me it gets better.....

[mum8247]

Very recently broken up with partner of 13 years. We have 3 children together.
I told him to leave after years of abuse, control, serial cheating and manipulation.
I know it's the best thing for me and the children but I feel so lost. A complete shell of myself.
Currently laying in bed crying my eyes out, feeling like I'll be lost in this whirlwind forever. I'm barely getting through the days, not eating or sleeping properly and all whilst trying to be the best mum to my children.
All he's done so far is create profiles on every kind of social media going.
I just feel so lost......

Bump

Oh no. You have definitely done the right thing. You all deserve so much more.
Just think into the future and know this is be a distant memory and the feeling will pass.
Your life will be so great without that dead weight. Happiness awaits

Thank you! I 100% know I've made the right decision, but equally feel like I'm grieving the death of someone.
I honestly thought I'd feel a relief, but I just feel so completely heartbroken by everything.

Hi, sorry I can’t offer any warm words right now, but I am going through something similar, and it hurts so much. Even though you know it is for the best, the pain is still overwhelming. What have you done so far to distract yourself?

Step away from looking at social media yourself - if you know he's putting profiles up, it's because you are looking. Make sure he's blocked from any social media you are on - best not to see each others updates. Time is all that works, but it will be quicker if you don't follow what he's up to and live your own life. The only way is up now, you've stopped him robbing you of any more time, which is great.

Hi,
Im so sorry you're also going through something similar. It is awful.
I've started going through the house, desperately trying to remove "him" but as you can imagine after all these years there is so much, in almost every place.
I've tried to distract myself by going out shopping and visiting family. But that just seems to cause me massive anxiety! And I start feeling really overwhelmed and just want to come back home.
I've also been trying to throw myself in with the kids, talk to my friends, be around my mum a lot, I've tried to watch my favourite programmes and films, but my brain cannot switch off! The hurt is beyond limits.
What have you tried? I hope something is helping.
Every time I feel like I'm getting somewhere it's like my world and earth comes shattering back down at a million miles an hour.
I'm really not one to sit and feel sorry for myself ever! So this feeling has completely knocked me off of my feet!

Thank you. 😊
You are 100% right. I went looking for him, and then got upset when I found him. I've blocked him on everything the minute I saw him, and have made a promise to myself not to look any further. I'm just hurt that he hasn't given a shit about the kids at all!
I just can't wait until this heavy load lifts and I feel ok again.

Learn about narcissism, U tube, reading, this will help you understand how he behaves.

Start with Dr Ramish, it may help.

Stay strong and take care

It's all about control.

Once he loses control over you, he loses his power.

x

He only has the power over you that you give him. He's shit, he's always been shit, and the end of your relationship is the best thing that's ever happened to you. I'm sorry you're sad, but now is the time to show your children what a strong woman is made of. The example you set for them right now will impact them for the rest of their lives.

Well done, you have done the right thing. I'm doing the same at the moment, and feel so sad and question it every day, but looking to the future it will be a better place for you and your kids without him x

You can do this. One day at a time. Make a plan. Start with little things. Even if it’s doing something small with the children. There will be good days and bad. He is probably trying to make you jealous. Come off all social media so you don’t have to see it for a while. He will probably try different tactics for your reaction. Be strong.

It does get better, you have done made the best decision of your life for yoursel as well as the kids. It's hard now, but you will get through this x

Thank you for all of your replies.
I've looked into narcissism, and he ticks EVERY box! I'm angry at myself that I've allowed myself to stay for so long, and also angry that even though he's not here I'm still allowing him to get me so down. To anyone that has been here and got through the other side, how long did you feel completely lost for?