Ex-husband asking children to keep special secrets with him

[Campion321]

So have young children 8 and 9 who stay alternate weekends with their Dad. He spends a lot of time bad mouthing me. He allows them to watch inappropriate films etc. All against my wishes. The children are becoming more anxious and literally button up when I ask them how their weekends went. They came back last weekend and the youngest had a nightmare having watched the latest Stranger Things. He initially wouldn’t tell me why he was so distressed explaining that when they were with daddy they were in a bubble that if you talked about what went on then that bubble would burst. This feels so wrong. So make the children keep secrets. Am not sure what to do. I try and say nothing, no judgement on their father at all but I cannot watch him truly memes these kids up. Social work? School? Any ideas?

Is contact court ordered?. If not I would stop their visits to him entirely. If he is that bothered about them at all he would not be asking them to keep secrets from you nor showing them inappropriate tv content for their age. He very much remains abusive towards you and in turn your children as well; he has not changed at all since you separated from him. All this man cares about is his own self.

This is really quite concerning. This bubble idea is really awful, it's putting a lot of pressure and responsibility on your kids.

I get the sense if you asked him what the kids meant about the bubble he would take it out on them. What happens when you ask him directly what they did at the weekend?

He blocks my number so i have to email him to communicate. He doesn’t let me speak to them when he has them, all about control. There is a contact agreement based on our separation agreement. He’s vile and angry. I think i will speak to the school. I’m worried the boys feel they have to manage him.

Campion, you’ve had a name change.

Your children are being emotionally abused. He is coercing them to follow these restrictive rules and secrets, and they will be damaged by the fear of betraying both of you. Their being banned from contacting you and vice versa is outrageous. He is also exposing them to inappropriate media.

I would go back to court to modify the contact order.

Stop visits now!, that's a huge red flag 😱

I would contact the court as well as their school. You need to cease all their visits to him now.

He has not changed since you were with him. He is indeed using these children additionally as a way of further punishing you for having the gall to leave him, to his own self he is a perfect specimen of a man.