How did COVID impact your friendships?

[KeepingKeepingOn]

I’m musing, having had a weekend catching up with an old friend. I feel like Covid had such a massive and unforeseen impact on some of my friendships and not on others and wondered if others have experienced the same.

It seemed to be the (old) friends I had who both lived far away and lived alone during the lockdowns that really drifted. I put effort into regular FaceTimes with them and sending the occasional care package type thing, but was also pregnant, in a high stress job and managing two school aged children who were obviously with me 24/7. I don’t think I could have done more, but I wonder if they think I should IYSWIM?

The two I’m especially thinking of were 15/20 year friendships and contact has very much dwindled - when I’ve seen them face to face, it’s felt awkward, like we can’t find our groove. I’m sad about it, and I don’t think it would have happened without the lockdowns; but now we are where we are, I wonder if our paths have just diverged too much to get back on track.

Anyone had similar? What have you done about it?

A bit like you I think the long-distance friendships suffered a bit, as we got out of the rhythm of regular meet-ups. Luckily all my oldest friends and I turned 50 over the last 12 months so we had one big weekend together earlier this year that felt really special.
Local friendships I think actually became even more valuable. Because we all have busy and demanding jobs, during the first lockdown at least we all suddenly found we had time, that rare commodity. As soon as we were allowed to meet another person outdoors I started going for walks with one friend at a time (and they would go with each other at the same time so we would all sort catch up on each other's news in turn), and as the group was allowed to get bigger we sort of meshed into a very close group of 4 that met up a lot. I have several good friends where I live, but I think lockdown forged the key group of 4 that I really value.

So to answer your question, book a cottage and spend a long weekend with your friends. Sometimes people want to have a chat that is too hard to have during a three hour dinner date but can happen naturally over the course of a long walk.

Not at all. We chatted on Zoom, had telephone calls, went for walks when it was allowed, did stuff together as soon as possible.

It gave me a good excuse not to see two or three family members though.

For me there was no real change with my best friends, apart from we spoke more on the phone. My local mummy friends we didn't see each other as much and we hadn't got into the swing on speaking on the phone so that dwindled a little.

@Biscuitsneeded agree on the local friends point - it actually solidified a few friendships because we treasured the time we could spend together walking etc! Absolutely invaluable.

@washingbasketqueen probably similar to you, there was one ‘mum’ friendship I think could have been brill, but it didn’t get enough time to really bed in before we went into lockdown and we lost touch.

@FourChimneys was that even friends who lived a significant distance away? One of mine is on the other side of the world, so we didn’t physically see each other for 18 months, and the time difference made it hard to Zoom etc.

Hi op a few of mine def fizzled. Her eldest 15. Busy busy busy. I felt I put in all effort into it. I got tired it. Im thinking perhaps people so busy now something has to give. I dont hear from her now. I guess covid didnt help. Its a lesson learnt keep myself busy

Out of the blue, all my university friends from decades ago contacted me, we had several lovely zoom calls, from all over the world.

I lost a male friend (76) who refused to see me as I would not let DD (11) have the vaccine.

We saw some friends and their son yesterday for the first time since before the pandemic. It was really odd. Can't believe it's been so long.