Tinder (free version)

[neversaynever8]

Hi
i’m 10 months out of a long marriage and ready to date again.
i’m completely new to online dating, it just wasn’t around last time I was single but I feel ready to take the plunge.
Ideally, I’d like a free app or website.
suggestions please…. Is the Free version of tinder any good?

@zonky no due to a fortunate I come from a family with late menopause. I'm over 50 but periods are regular and blood tests still show good levels of oestrogen (no HRT) and progesterone shows I am still ovulating (we use condoms as I have never used any hormonal contraception, don't want anything to mess up with my hormones). Mum went into menopause at 59 so I'm hoping for the same good luck. I have no menopausal symptoms whatsoever and actually dexa scan showed good bone density.

The sex thing is just that I don't like sleeping with random men. They were all (the ones I dated for a little while) happy to wait - we never discussed the issue with them, I must have a bitchy face so they didn't even dare ask.

@disin agreed with your points

@forgotoldusername . I have reported some of the personal attacks on you. I think you sound lovely and admirable!
I am pleased you have been successful. Good luck with everything

Mmmm...sorry. But what reality are you in? Many opposite sex have their devices which isn't anyone business. Second, education isn't a factor if the garage man is pulling 80k a year. That's from hauling trash. What is here wanting to be spoiled. Not substance for wanting a real relationship. Get rid of looking for real prince and look for the quality on intelligence instead.

@Teddletoddle thanks but don't worry about reporting. My default mental answer to these "attacks" is they are jealous. In truth, life has been good to me, I'm successful and now happy again with the nicest man. If I want to be slim and put my health in jeopardy surely it's my business (and my health insurance would cover long stays at the Priory anywhere so I wouldn't put any strain on the NHS). Everyone needs to be what they deem right and I have a strong sense of what's right or wrong FOR ME which will surely differ from what's right or wrong for others. So I let this all wash over me.

And going back to the OP, online dating can be really great and funny too!!

@Deathlok no i want to date people who are intellectually compatible. Money is not what makes us compatible. I wanted someone who has read extensively, travelled, possibly speaks more than one language (I speak a few myself), and ideally also is STEM trained. So a car mechanic probably wouldn't have met these criteria. And why do you care about my criteria? I met plenty who did tick these boxes. I have friends and colleagues who did OLD and also had strict criteria and great success.

Do you leave yourself on view all the time of go incognito/hide?

Hmm. I’ve been single for 8 months and on the apps for 4. I’ve found a huge amount of them are time wasters. I’ve had many dates agreed and been on 1! I’ve tried Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, Facebook dating (all much of a muchness really) and OK Cupid. No idea what the Ok Cupid algorithm is about, I got lots of poly/trans/non-binary suggestions. I’m a “live your life” kind of person but they weren’t for me! I wouldn’t start with Tinder to be honest. I’d start with Bumble or Hinge. Bit gentler. But I wouldn’t expect miracles or 100s of dates! 😂

You need some psychiatric help. Who is not only okay with, but welcomes having an eating disorder. Certain cancers cause weight loss, would you welcome that?

Why would anyone on mumsnet be jealous of you? We don't know you other than what you've written here, what is there to be jealous of?

Thanks…
yes I think I’d prefer to start gentle and I’ll try not to get my hopes up!
so bumble or hinge… does anyone else vouch for these?
I only fancy using one!!

has anyone used elite singles, it’s not free but sounds good on paper? Is it any good?

Do you know anyone in real life that’s done it? It’s good to chat it through. I was with my ex 28 years I was terrified of giving it a go, but it wasn’t scary once I got the hang of it.
remember - you are interviewing. You have a check list, and don’t settle.

i was on there 6 months, had 10 first dates, a few second dates, met sone lovely men, just not right for me. Then I met my now DF . My friend had met her new partner on there a few months earlier so she talked me through it all. I’d say have a phone call before you meet, but don’t let the chat go on for weeks before you meet, you haven’t got time for a pen pal.

I used match first, but I didn’t like it, anyone can message you.
on tinder people can only message you if you match.
and as crap as it sounds, if I ever send a message to a guy I’d matched with it usually got ignored. There are time wasters on there. In the end I used to just wait to see who messaged me, and if they were polite, used proper English . I didn’t match with anyone who didn’t put something about themselves in their profile.

I’d probably go with Bumble if I were you. If you match the woman has to message first. Although on Hinge you can see likes…which is helpful. And you can like individual pictures and message about the pictures or comments which sparks more conversations. Sorry I’m no help am I?!

😂👏 - all help gratefully received!!