Does your partner lie ?

[KittyCatsby]

My dh has a habit about lying about the cost of something . Example , he has a hobby

( woodworking ) He has just ordered something online ( yesterday ) we share an iPad and the invoice popped up on it , around £60.
Today he tells me he has a package due this week he has bought for £15.
it does not bother me what he buys or the cost , I've never commented on his purchases . I told him I saw the invoice sent and it was for £60 , he then flustered saying they must have made a mistake but is not rushing off to rectify ' their mistake '
I have no idea why he does this .

No he doesn’t.

No

If he does, I’ve never found out. I imagine that’s the case for everyone.

If this is the only sort of thing you know he lies about then ask him why. Tell him you don’t care what he spends in his hobby so if he’s lying because he feels guilty about spending so much / thinks you’ll be annoyed at him for wasting money, that isn’t the case.

Women do this is in general ? Mine omits. simply.

My bf generally tells the truth. Sometimes misremembers things, like mixes up 2 stories, but not a bare faced lie or fib. From him omission is generally because he forgot rather than he has hid it from me.

No. I wouldn't trust a liar, so definitely couldn't have a loving relationship with one.

Do you trust him? How, if you know he lies to you? Do you love him?

@Watchkeys

We have been together 23 years . I do trust him.
I also think none of us can say hand on heart that we do not lie.
I am saying I don't understand why he feels the need to do it about things such as I given the example to.

I can say hand on heart that I don't lie to my partner, OP. What would be the point of deception? I can understand that we all sometimes say we're fine when we're not, at the office, etc, but lying to those we're close to isn't a given in many relationships, and nor should it be.

If you think we're all doing it, you must lie to him, too? Why don't your reasons for doing it apply to him? Don't you assume he has the same reasons for doing the same thing you do?

Does he only lie about money?

Is it a control thing? Sometimes people lie because growing up with a very controlling parent they learned to lie convincingly or there would be a row or punishment. (No fear about being punished for lying, obvs !)

Also, I had a friend whose husband would not tell her how much money he had spent when making a purchase so she had to guess i.e. how much did you spend on those shoes ? About forty quid ?

'Something like that' would be his reply. He resented being questioned by her.

Money was a flashpoint in their relationship especially after he lost his job. Her distain for him was quite obvious.

It might not be that the OP is that bothered what he spends. He's just chosen not to be very grown up about telling her. Rather sounds like, 'what's it got to do with you ?' Why should he bother getting flustered when the truth comes out ?

So....it's not about the money with him, either IMO.

Hand on heart I don't lie to my DH and I don't believe he lies to me. Agreed at the start that it mattered hugely to both of us. I've been in a relationship where I couldn't trust OH and I won't go there again.