In love with a boss

[StartupLostChild]

Hey everyone.

So, I am in a middle of a situation here. If for the context might be interesting, I am located in Germany, I am a 25 year old straigh female. I just started a new job, and it took me a very long and hard time to find it. I love the job, the company and the people, so I really do not wanna risk losing it, specially since before finding the job, I was in a toxic and abusive workplace, and hating my life for it.

But also… I kinda have a massive crush on one of the cofounders of the company. Somehow this man is very open and approachable, welcoming and doesn’t look down on us the employees. We have some touchpointss during work but he also encourages me to ask him many questions and when I do - he really explains things so much in detail, as if he enjoys doing it.

Now, he is being very professional and yet friendly, with me and everyone else. He’s not flirting or anything. Of Course, he is most likely not yet interested in me as a girl, despite being super friendly, always laughing with me, etc, but also I do understand the even if he was he wouldn’t be likely to share it right away, since he is a cofounder and wouldn’t wanna risk looking like he is abusing his power to sexually harass female employees.

But the thing is that I don’t know how to act myself. It feels like it is THE job but also THE man (I know we just met, but I haven’t felt this way about a man in a really long time).
On one hand I don’t wanna be flirty to him, and see if he will reciprocate, because I don’t wanna lose the job that took me months to find.
As already mentioned, I am still in probation for the next 5.5 months. But also I don’t wanna potentially lose my chance of grand love, really. Like it could possibly be another failed romance, but could also be the love of my life, because when I look at him- I see a handsome, intelligent, professional, caring, funny, feminist, powerful, inspiring man, that could also be the best husband and father, and what if my passiveness costs me losing a bright future we could have had together?

So the question is, what should I do? What would you do if you were me? Have you maybe been in similar situations and would wanna share your experience? Thanks a lot for all your help in advance.

Do absolutely nothing
Do not assume he likes you
Do not overthink
Do not stalk him on social media
Do not ask him out for a coffee to chat work
Do not get pissed and drunk call/ text/email

in fact delete his number (if you have it) so he can only call you

he’s being nice, he needs you to understand the job, company to make sure your efficient at your job so no one makes him look bad to bigger bosses

Have you missed out on the basic loving relationship that you're now wishing for with someone who has shown you attention?
Never mix business with pleasure. It's his job to be pleasant and nurturing.

Do NOTHING !!!!!

I’m going to sound like a complete prick, but if English is not your first language (as is true for most people in Germany), I really really recommend you drop “wanna” as a contraction. It reads like the lyrics of a boyband song.
But otherwise, I concur with the above advice. It sounds like a bad place to assess the viability of a partner, ie as a star struck employee.

Nothing!

You’ve moved from a toxic work environment to this lovely place with a good boss. He probably oozes confidence, is a good leader and has ‘gravitas’, all of which may be new for you to experience. What your feeling is likely more due to the circumstances and comparison than the man himself.

I’d just settle in and give it a bit of time, it’ll hopefully pass. My director is one of those confident leader types… and he is a nice guy, who I respect etc. I’ve never had a crush on him, but when he started LOADS of women in the organisation did (one even carried a picture in her bag!) for context, I work in a company with very few men! Anyway, he’s been a round about 5 years now and his ‘sparkle’ has worn off… most respect him/know he’s a good guy/know he’s really hard working BUT think he likes the sound of his own voice a bit too much!!

Absolutely do not act on it!!

Focus on your job. At least get through your probation and show that you know what you're doing.

Do you know if he's single? In a relationship?

I'm sure if he's interested, he'll let you know one way or another. If such a time comes and you want to give it a shot, then perhaps getting another job at that time would be wise. You don't want to be sleeping with the boss.