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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Left note for partner before having time apart

3 replies

HelloDarknessMyOldFriend8 · 16/09/2022 16:32

I'm a classic overthinker. So just need someone to tell be to stop!
My partner and I have agreed to have some time apart for a few days or weeks.
Before I left, I left a note to say that I'm sorry for the situation we're in, hope time apart will do us good and all nice things.
I feel bad for leaving it there now as he'll see it tonight and be reminded of me.
Should I go back to distroy it or will it be a nice reminder for him to find.. ?
Sorry stupid dilema but I can't stop thinking about it.

OP posts:
layladomino · 16/09/2022 17:11

It's really hard to comment without some context on the background to the 'time apart'.

If he is a decent person and you meant those words honestly, and you didn't intend it to guilt-trip him or manipulate him in any way, then I'd say leave it be.

If he's responsible for your relationship problems (if he's abusive, untrustworthy, selfish for example) then I think he will use it as evidence that he's the victim and you're in the wrong.

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 16/09/2022 17:42

If he would have forgotten about you by tonight you don’t need time apart, you need to end it. Honestly, you’ve done a kind and thoughtful thing to try and leave him with a positive feeling.

Take your space, try to use the time apart to figure out what you really want and whether the two of you can overcome your issues.

Try not to overthink it, if it’s right then you’ll work it out. If you don’t work it out, you’ll have some tough time ahead while you readjust and rebuild.

User110922 · 16/09/2022 22:47

If you're in a long-term relationship, he'll be thinking about you a lot anyway, especially given the situation. If you're both civil, and he's not abusive or manipulative, I think the note will be a really nice touch. He'll read it and know that the time apart is to hopefully bring you back closer together, as opposed to this being the start of the end.

You've done a really nice thing and left things on a positive note.

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