Can Jealousy/ lack of trust be overcome

[mumof3fabkids]

Hi I'm new to this but I've seen several threads about un trusting, jealous and fairly controlling DHs and would be interested if anyone thinks or knows of any instances where the behaviour has changed. And what if any resources are available to assist in the change

DH is extreemly jealous and its getting to the stage where I am becoming angry about it. I have to be careful what underwear I put on to ensure it doesn't cause a problem. tbh he's always been a bit jealous but since i returned to work and now work for a man its become unbearable - I've tried reassurance etc but he just doesn't want to listen to it.

We've just started relate (only one session so far) but counsellor has said clearly the lack of trust is a big issue even DH admits (when hes in a good mood) there is no reason he shouldn't trust me.

Can men get over this and learn to trust or am I fighting a losing battle?

I've had a lot of trouble trusting my DH. This is partly because we both had other partners wehn we met and left them - so I knew what he was capable of iyswim. ALso, partly because I'm insecure and don't expect people to like me, especially ones that I really love (easier to stay away than risk getting hurt).

Anyway, I used to check his phone/ emails and we would row about it, until I accused him of having an affair with the man next door. This was so patently ridiculous that he couldn't be cross and I had to laugh as well. Since then I trust him. It's part of the changing I had to do. I hope your dh can find it in himx

We have been together for 14 years and in the early days (we were both very young) he was unfaithful several times. I absolutely trust him now, but he can't seem to accept the fact I used to have men friends and that I work for a man - perhaps he should meet my boss and he'd understand how ridiculous he is being!

I hope he can change too as this is causing problems in other areas and pushing me away

I expect that you are being reassuring to him, but he still has to accept that you're an independent person, and 'could' (not saying you would) choose to leave him or go and be with someone else. He can't control what you do but sounds like he's really trying to.

You're doing a good thing by going to Relate - I hope you work things out.