I have nobody on my side and am surrounded by toxicity

[aloofye]

Since my partner left me with a one year old, I’ve been left round the corner from my toxic family on my own. I’ve had to rely on them from time to time to deal with childcare etc as I have no money. I feel trapped. They use it against me. I am talked about often, treated like a failure. I was so much happier in my twenties when I lived far from them. It was bearable with DP as we had our own life. But it’s so toxic. I feel so scared and alone. I have flashbacks to the childhood abuse I endured and while they love my dc I am struggling. My voice is never heard. It’s just like when I was a child. I feel trampled on and worthless. And I can’t escape it

Sorry you're going through this.

Firstly, I'll be blunt -
The cycle will continue with your child if you keep leaving them with your family. The child is at risk of abuse just like you were. Not to mention, seeing its mother accept shaudy treatment from ppl around her and growing up thinking a. They can treat you that way. Or b. They should accept that treatment too. So, no more asking them for help with childcare. Decide on that and stick to it. Toxic ppl don't belong in your life,let alone near a child.

So, what can you do? Put your practical hat on and start taking steps.

Problem 1. Lack of money.
Does dad pay child support? Do you know and claim l the benefits you are entitled to? Could you move to a cheaper area and flat? Is work something you could improve on (eg: train for management role or switch departments for better pay?) Or could you pick up an extra side job at some point? Eg: cleaning jobs are often flexible and £10 an hour for cleaning old mrs so and so's house twice per week might be worth considering. Is there anything in the home you dont use anymore? It could be sold on ebay.

Problem 2. Family.
Time to put some distance there once and for all. Moving away again should be your primary aim as physical distance will help. But looking up techniques such as 'grey rock' for contact you have with them may also help.