Will try and keep this short. My dad was abusive as a child (physically and emotionally). He’s not a bad man and has many good qualities but he is a drain on my well-being. I stay away largely. My mum is better but often gets wrapped up in his toxic ways.
my long term relationship ended in May and I was left alone with dc 4 months. It’s been horrendous. Ex wants nothing to do with us despite being together over 11 years.
i had a good career but this will take a hit when I go back to work due to childcare sums. My parents have offered me 100k to buy a house near them. This will mean I still have a mortgage but one that I would never ever get for the foreseeable future without this money. It means a much nicer house in general where I could have friends to stay. That’s currently not possible as I am in a two bedroom house.
the reason it’s near them is that the houses around me are extortionate. They have offered the money for anywhere but this house has come up and I know the area as it’s where I grew up.
my friends have mixed views. Some say take it, go with it for now and then move if the proximity is too much or gets toxic, at least then I have the finance and a better future in that way. Others say absolutely not, don’t go back to the area etc. I tend to think that’s a bit extreme as my dad is day to day some dreadful person but simply has a tendency to be toxic and I keep my distance. The anxiety about the move is that I don’t want to feel I’ve ‘gone backwards’ to my hometown. But it’s a huge step forward security wise for the future.