Hi,
Not strictly relationships but sort of is as issue with ex husband.
I am the main full time carer for my 2 children, who stay with their dad (ex husband) every other weekend. I know he smokes weed, he secretly did through our marriage after promising to quit after children arrived. He has done for a long time. One of the reasons I left.
My eldest (age 11) has come to me upset saying she thinks Daddy is smoking in the flat when they are in bed. For reference it’s a small holiday flat type accommodation that he rents - so there is one room downstairs which is a small lounge / kitchen, small flight of stairs and the bedroom which they both share with their Dad when they stay.
She told me her and her brother have smelt smoke / something funny when in bed and Daddy is downstairs. She said she has come down for a drink or whatever and he leaps up and hides things but she has seen an ash tray with a cigarette in it on the table in front of the sofa. She also said she is 99% he doesn’t go outside to smoke as she would hear him go out and he has never once been outside anytime either of them have gone downstairs for something.
Aside from the disgust of him smoking in a tiny flat with both his children in there, I am as sure as I can be it will be cannibis he is smoking as well. Obviously I have no proof.
My daughter is upset and it has taken a lot for her to “tell” on her Dad to me about it which means it must be bothering her.
I don’t know what to do. My husband has seen him drop the kids off at our house, drive down the road and then pull up & take a small packet out his boot and roll up a “fag” before several times as well. So I’d be pretty confident he’s driving around smoking it too although not with the kids in the car at the time.
I don’t care what he does in his free time but am absolutely furious my children are quite possibly being exposed to passive cannabis smoke ? What can I do? He will deny it if I approach him about it. We have a reasonable relationship but he doesn’t take criticism well.