Change to PMS after childbirth

[DadAndLovingIt]

Good evening,

I'm after a bit of advice or other coping mechanisms.

My wife's PMS has got a lot worse since giving birth (8 months ago).

Before she was pregnant it wasn't noticeable (to me, anyway). No mood swings.

But for the last few months her mood swings have been really bad and we have one week in four when I feel like I'm walking on eggshells.

Has anyone else found similar and how did you cope?

TIA!

I have to admit for one week out of four I am horrendous, the hormones just take over and I feel sorry for what my boyfriend has to put up with. When your other half is feeling ok can you have a chat with her about it? Hormones are awful and some women get awful pmt. Is she snappy? Tearful?

If she recognises it there are some herbal things like primrose oil which are meant to help

Firstly I think it's great you have recognised it and are seeking out support/advice. Have a look up on PMDD and see if this sounds similar.

Pre children I wouldn't of known I had period besides the obvious bleeding. I then had two children 14 months apart and once my periods returned after my second child, hell started for me. Around the week before being due on I turned into a crazy, psychotic, suicidal mess. I had no idea what was causing it and it was very traumatic. I was beyond emotional, paranoid, agitated and physically unwell in this period. None of these symptoms I had ever experienced before which made it a lot worse. I could go on all day about the symptoms I had in the lead up to my period. My marriage almost broke down and it caused me postnatal depression.

4 years later and it is still there but I manage it by knowing a) what the problem/cause is (researching PMDD, joined a Facebook support group), managing my overall stress levels, exercising and eating well. Getting lots of rest that week.

Your wife can see the doctor and there is treatments like different forms of contraception and antidepressants. I personally didn't want either of this so had counselling which really helped.

I think PMDD gets really overlooked as PMT but it's not it's far worse and if this is what your wife has she needs lots of support.

Is your wife aware it has gotten worse? Because I would say that is your biggest help here.

I was the same, that since giving birth five years ago, there is now roughly five days a month where I am wildly depressed, irrational, and not that nice to be around. However I cottoned on pretty quickly to this change so when I’m being and feeling horrible I check the date and instantly feel better, and also apologise if needed, as I realise it’s out of my control and will pass.

I know it’s not necessarily the most practical solution depending on family set up, but I also take as much time to myself during that time, so if you’re able to allow her that it might help.

I have never gone down the treatment route, but self awareness is my biggest ally.

Good morning,

Thanks very much for the suggestions!

Fortunately it is something she recognises, though I'm not sure how much she realises it's related to her cycle. She'll (usually) apologise for 'having been horrible to be around' afterwards.

From reading a bit more about it, it could be PMDD - she's spoken about a lot of the symptoms (but fortunately not all of them).
We'll have a chat about it in a few days.

In the meantime I'll give her as much space as I can!