How do you tell DC their Grandparents are splitting up?

[Dontknowhownow]

As the title really, DC aged between 4 and 9. Always know grandparents together and adore them. It's not amicable, come as a big shock to everyone.

They don't want to live together anymore so they are living in different houses ?

Worried the older ones are going to want more explanation as to why they don't want to live together anymore. Do we just say they don't love each other anymore?

If they are definitely splitting, then you definitely tell them straight away . Because if you don’t and they find out a different way , then they won’t trust you on what they don’t know . What I mean is , they will always think , what else hasn’t my parent told me that I should know ! Makes them very insecure in life because they know big things are hid from them . If you tell them , they will feel secure at home . Just say they don’t live each other anymore but love them still and always will

I would just say they arnt getting along very well and arguing a lot so better to have time apart

I think you make it clear to your DC that you don’t have a right to ask the GPS for the details of their marriage breakdown. It’s up to the GPs what they wish to say. They don’t have any dependent children living with them , presumably? In that case, they are not obliged to explain things to anyone.

I don't think it helps to say people don't love each other anymore. I think saying something like (nanny/grandad) will be living at a new different house now. We will still see both but x will be at the usual house and y will be at the new house. Sometimes people separate and move into new houses and that's OK. As I said we will see them both just in different houses

I agree don't say they don't love each other. I would treat it as a totally normal thing, which it is, and just say they've decided not to live together any more.

Do any of their friends have happily divorced parents? You could make a comparison.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever ready about answering young children's questions was to very simply answer the question but don't add anything. When they are ready they will ask the follow up questions.

For now all they need to know is that their DGPs now live in separate houses, at the point where they ask "why" well its because they both feel happier that way. Its tempting to feel the need to spill out a full explanation because that is what we as adults might expect but mostly young children need time to absorb one fact and then work out the next piece of information they want.