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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Abusive ex, new girlfriend

1 reply

cocavino · 15/09/2022 09:46

Actually, he's been with her for over a year I reckon.

He's a master manipulator and has now managed to foist some of his childcare duties off to this woman. I now have her contact details finally and we cleared up some hurt feelings/misunderstandings caused by my ex.

It's already become apparent to me that he's playing the same types of mind games with her as he did/does with me. She appears to feel helpless and trapped. She literally has described a feeling of helplessness dealing with some things he has done - but apparently she's willing to continue accepting his behaviour?

I'm not getting involved, as it's not my place and frankly, I think it's good for my child to have a buffer from her father.

It's just so bizarre to watch. In part, I feel uncomfortable thinking how I was once in uer position.

Has anyone else been in this position? To be honest, I feel sorry for her at the moment.

OP posts:
Mlb123 · 16/11/2022 19:36

cocavino · 15/09/2022 09:46

Actually, he's been with her for over a year I reckon.

He's a master manipulator and has now managed to foist some of his childcare duties off to this woman. I now have her contact details finally and we cleared up some hurt feelings/misunderstandings caused by my ex.

It's already become apparent to me that he's playing the same types of mind games with her as he did/does with me. She appears to feel helpless and trapped. She literally has described a feeling of helplessness dealing with some things he has done - but apparently she's willing to continue accepting his behaviour?

I'm not getting involved, as it's not my place and frankly, I think it's good for my child to have a buffer from her father.

It's just so bizarre to watch. In part, I feel uncomfortable thinking how I was once in uer position.

Has anyone else been in this position? To be honest, I feel sorry for her at the moment.

This is especially challenging because it brings back memories of what you have been through and you are right not to get involved for many valid reasons and this would only cause issues for you and potentially your child. When I was faced with similar one of my reasons for not intervening was because I didn't want to risk him switching his obsession back onto me and blaming me for any issues with them because it it led to a split I know his focus would be back on me and getting even with me . Protect yourself both emotionally by distancing yourself and from further harm by staying out of it xxxx

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