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Relationships

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Original poster

Telling someone you love them

35 replies

ghsu · 14/09/2022 23:06

How did it come about the first time. Did you just tell them casually sitting on the couch in pjs or was it a grand gesture/romantic setting?

Does the man usually say it first?

OP posts:

ManAboutTown · 14/09/2022 23:11

Done it three times in three different ways - and as the guy I was the first to press the button on each occasion

At the end of a fabulous alcohol heavy dinner
Curled up in bed after a very enjoyable hour
Left a CD single of UB40 - Can't Help Falling in Love with You - on her bed

They all worked - and all seemed right at the time

Original poster

ghsu · 14/09/2022 23:14

Very romantic @ManAboutTown

OP posts:

ManAboutTown · 14/09/2022 23:23

@ghsu - there was one 30+ years ago who I loved to bits but because the relationship could never have worked I never told her. Still regret it.

Aretheyhavingalaugh · 14/09/2022 23:29

I've only said it to one person and were still together, 19 years later and I spelt it out using scrabble tiles whilst we were playing scrabble

Aretheyhavingalaugh · 14/09/2022 23:30

I am female BTW

ManAboutTown · 14/09/2022 23:31

@Aretheyhavingalaugh - that is very cool. I was quite proud of my CD one but that is even better. I'm guessing Scrabble was abandoned in favour of more enjoyable activities😀

feckoffbrian · 14/09/2022 23:33

DH woke me up from a nap and told me.

(I can be a tad bit grumpy when waking up and may or may not have told him to feck off...)

Ticksallboxes · 14/09/2022 23:38

I've had five long term relationships from aged 19 to 29, when I met my now DH.

Each time it was said very solemnly and quietly by them, about half an hour after sex, in bed. I always said 'I love you too' back, and completely meant it every time.

bumblingbovine49 · 15/09/2022 08:48

Is it bad that I can't remember?

With my first husband I do remember feeling actual pain on being separated from him and longing to see him in our first couple of years together. I felt absolutely absorbed in everything about him but we got divorced 27 years ago and I really can't remember who said I love you first or when. I do however clearly remember the absolute devastation of his infidelity though and a couple of emotionally traumatic emotional conversations at the end of our relationship.

As for other relationships , I remember one where we broke up after two years living together and he basically told me he had .never loved me. He then got together with his best friend and is still with her 30 years later so he was obviously on love with her 😏I remember that hurting a but but not in the same scale as my divorce

With DH we sort of grew into our relationship and I can't remember a specific first ' I love you moment'. He probably does though, he has a much better memory than me. I might ask him if he remembers. The Great thing about DH and why we are perfectly suited is he won't be at all upset that I can't remember our first ' I love you moment'. He will just roll his eyes . I won't be upset if he has forgotten either though

I sound like I've had my heart constantly broken but honestly I haven't. I had a few relationships where I chose to move on too . I just don't remember the I love you moments just mostly the break ups . I must be really weird 😂

OrlandointheWilderness · 15/09/2022 09:45

I told him after 8 months together on his birthday. We were in bed after a lovely evening. He hugged me incredibly tight, and didn't say it back!! 😂 he kept me stewing for two weeks before telling me he loved me.

firstmummy2019 · 15/09/2022 10:39

Aretheyhavingalaugh · 14/09/2022 23:29

I've only said it to one person and were still together, 19 years later and I spelt it out using scrabble tiles whilst we were playing scrabble

@Aretheyhavingalaugh 😢

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 15/09/2022 10:45

We were washing up after supper about six weeks into the relationship and he made some joke ( can’t remember what it was) and I just said quite spontaneously ‘ oh I love you’. My heart sank because I really didn’t want to come on too strong, I was very keen and didn’t want to risk losing him by pushing too hard.

Fortunately he dropped the dish towel , hugged me and said ‘I love you, too.’

That was in 1982. I told him again this morning, when he brought me a cup of coffee in bed.

Chattycathydoll · 15/09/2022 10:46

The second time we had sex, it was amazing (and still is years on!!). He finished and while still panting next to me said ‘I love you’. Then realised what he had said and started apologising profusely because of course it was far too soon. I started laughing because I kept nearly saying it by accident until that moment. We clearly both felt it. I said I loved him too, and from that point on we were kind of ‘officially’ a relationship- even though we had meant to be taking it slowly!

Fuzzyhippo · 15/09/2022 13:35

I think I said it in the car about a year or so in. I'm yet to hear him say it. 7 years together

CountryCatLady · 15/09/2022 15:08

Lying in bed, just over 6 months together. I said it first then he echoed it. I think we had not long finished some lovely activity 😳

Pollywoddles · 15/09/2022 15:11

We’ve never said it, is that weird? Married with a child and never been happier.

I think we show our love in our actions towards each other and I know that he loves me without having to hear him say it. He shows me how much every single day.

Youcunnyfunt · 15/09/2022 15:15

Is it bad I don't really remember with most of my exes (there's not that many! it's all just such a long time ago)?

I've always let the man say it first, I suppose I'm quite traditional like that. I'm also quite stubborn haha.

Never had a grand gesture, really - one ex wrote me a poem to tell me. And one friend gave me some jewellery and a card (while he had a girlfriend! It was not reciprocated!).
But that's it.

totallyoutnumbered · 15/09/2022 16:22

We were sitting with a cup of tea in bed one Sunday morning after maybe 7 weeks. I just said it, his eyes welled up and he said it back. He'd been showing me since day 1 how much I meant to him and hasn't missed a day since ❤️

Merryoldgoat · 15/09/2022 16:24

My DH told me as I shovelled garlic pizza bread into my mouth.

hashbrownsandwich · 15/09/2022 16:24

I told me now DH I loved him one morning in bed, he said 'I know.'

Oopsiedaisyy · 15/09/2022 16:26

Apparently my bf thinks its not possible to know you love someone until 6 months or longer. Been seeing each other for 3.5 months. I'm feeling it already

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 15/09/2022 16:29

DH and I had a difficult day where he leaned on me for emotional support (death in the family). We got home and held each other and he just told me he loved me and didn't need me to say it back but I did anyway.

The man doesn't have to say it first, if that was the case a lot of lesbians would never be able to say it!

Ahhhhhbisto · 15/09/2022 16:37

Just messing around about 6 months in and it sort of fell out with the laughter 🤣
It wasn't echoed but I did receive a thanks!!

Same person a couple of weeks later responded to a message asking what he was up to by saying just trying to figure out the best way to say I love you.

Thinking of that still gives me butterflies 16 years later.

Minikievs · 15/09/2022 16:42

I have said it first with an ex. And got the awful response of "I'm very happy to hear that" 😑😑😑 I should've known then that we were doomed 😂

I wanted to say it for ages with DP, and it accidentally slipped out when we were on holiday and I was drunk, about 3 months in. I then shouted at him that I hadn't meant it and I wouldn't say it first etc etc. Not my finest hour.

He said it to me when he was on holiday without me about 4/5 months in.

forlornlorna1 · 15/09/2022 16:43

I was throwing my ring up with food poisoning and my now dh was holding my hair out the way. We'd only been dating 3 months and here I was with my knickers round my ankles with the squits while throwing up into a mop bucket. I said "I'm so bloody sorry" ...he said "it's ok I still love you". I didn't think he meant it.

But he's told me he loves me everyday since for the last 23 years

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