Another heartbreak thread

[winniewitchy]

Long time lurker on mumsnet.

My dp and I had the most fantastic relationship for 18 months.

He has recently had a bit of an issue with his mental health which has caused him to shut me out. Massive amounts of stress which I won't go in to. But rather than talk to me about it he has just shut down and became increasingly distant.

I'm an anxious person and this was really upsetting me so I asked him if it was me and he said no it's everything else but that he didn't know how he feels about anything anymore. So for my own sanity I ended it. He replied by telling me I deserve better.

We haven't spoken since and I'm in absolute pieces. Up until that point we were so close. I feel like nc is the only thing I can do right now but it's killing me

Not even sure what I'm asking here.

Perverse positive is the significant weight loss 🙄

You’ve done the right thing. For whatever reason, he abandoned the relationship and left you stranded emotionally. It sounds very tough but it’s a much better option than clinging on, exploding into happiness again when he seems to return, only to be devastated again when he inevitably goes cold and distant once more. And repeat.

What are your self-nurture plans? Favourite movies, long baths, see old friends? Really take care of yourself. Treat yourself. To make life a little nicer and easier whilst this feels so harsh.

@ToFindNewWays is giving you v good advice. I was in a similar relationship to yours, first time he ended it citing stress as the reason, saying that I deserve better. He came back after a few months asking for another chance, only to go through an exactly the same cycle 3 years later, when his anxiety & low mood led him to question the relationship again. I decided to end it then, I was emotionally exhausted. It took me a while to bounce back.
You’ve done the right thing. Focus on yourself and appreciate your own emotional maturity. You’ve just saved yourself years of misery.

Thanks for your replies. I'm finding it really hard. We were planning on moving in together and I'm grieving for that future.

I luckily have some fantastic friends and have therapy booked to address my anxiety issues. No contact is bloody hard though

You definitely did the right thing OP. You would become emotionally drained otherwise.

Very difficult to have a stable and fulfilling relationship when mental health issues are not addressed (speaking from personal experience). I would shut myself off and become impossible to live with so I can relate to him. It isn’t fair on the partner. Hope you both get the help you deserve.