They died in 2004 but my god I miss them. They brought me up . (Until I 7 )
I never had a sand pit so grandad used to empty all the wet tea leaves into a tray and id use egg cups and make tea leaf castles!
I used to follow my grandad every where - he never got a minutes peace bless him. He's go for an afternoon nap and I'd go with him and make him make up silly stories or read spike Milligan poems , or he would make his own up . I used to sleep between my Nan and grandad. I'd read the encyclopaedia books on butterflies and moths . I loved dinosaurs too ! I got away with absolute murder . My Nan took me all over with her - she was a tailoress- so she took me to all her ladies . Grandad was a dartboard maker and he would take me to the wood yard and when he delivered his dartboards I was always with him . I'd make him dig up the garden for worms and creepy crawlies cos they fascinated me . They were just fabulous. I found a pic of me and my Nan on my wedding day today - she wouldn't have photos taken so it's a rare find .
They brought me up until my mother took me from them . My childhood after that wasn't so good . But I had the best start . I was absolutely free to do whatever I wanted . I remember finding a toad once and wanted to keep it as a pet - so grandad made a pond and planted it in an old Victorian pram . But the toad wouldn't eat . We dug up worms but he would t take them . And my grandad said I had a choice - let him go and live , or keep him till he died .
He would have let me do either . But I let him go.
I hated school because all my lessons were at home . They just let me make choices for myself and guided me to make the right ones , but never told me what to do .
I miss them so much . I'm alone now - have been for a long time but lived alone now for 3 years and I crave their wisdom, care , love and advice .
I was in essence their youngest child.
My mother spoilt it all when I was 7 when she married a nasty drunk abusive Neanderthal and took me to live with them , it certainly ruined my relationship with my grandad because by the time I went back I was a teenager and we didn't really know how to be around each other . But my Nan was always the same . I loved her dearly .
I'm 50 now and lost . I jiust want them and their wisdom. I dream about them all the time . They were to all intents and purposes my mum and dad .
Now when I'm having g a shite time - I don't t have anyone to
Go to .
I'm just waffling. Lonely and alone and missing family connections I think.
Even the bloody dogs have left me tonight . I must be channeling miserable!
Anyway that feels better. Just getting it out there . Writing it down . Got some dilemmas at min so feeling it .