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Original poster

Are some men just rubbish at texting?

26 replies

Palmtreesprings · 13/09/2022 21:35

I’ve been on a few dates with this guy and he seems pretty keen. He texts me quite a bit but they are always so short, they almost feel abrupt but I don’t think he means it like that. Sometimes I wonder why he bothers as they are so short, almost like statements!

He’ll sometimes message Talk? So maybe he just isn’t a text kind of guy which isn’t something I have experience of.

Has anyone got experience of dating a two or three word texter? I think I just get triggered by their abruptness and attach to much meaning to them and am trying to tell myself that’s my problem and not to project it onto him!

OP posts:
Flyinggeesei234 · 13/09/2022 21:41

I’d be inclined to ignore what he’s like at texting and base opinions on him in your face to face interactions/dates instead.

Yes some people are just not into texting. I’m definitely one of them and luckily my partner is similar.

jesusjoan · 13/09/2022 21:45

Think this is pretty normal for a lot of men. Like the modern version of men who used to answer the landline by repeating the phone number back to the caller (duh!) and saying nothing else. Not even a 'hello'.

Original poster
Palmtreesprings · 13/09/2022 21:46

Thanks @Flyinggeesei234 I’ve only seen him a few times and now he’s working abroad for a month so texting and phone calls are all I’ve got right now.

I guess I’m just used to men being more gushy and he’s just not like that at all. I may as well be asking him how to fix my boiler 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Palmtreesprings · 13/09/2022 21:46

jesusjoan · 13/09/2022 21:45

Think this is pretty normal for a lot of men. Like the modern version of men who used to answer the landline by repeating the phone number back to the caller (duh!) and saying nothing else. Not even a 'hello'.

That has made me laugh 😂

OP posts:
OrangeFlowersAreLovely · 13/09/2022 21:47

I'm the opposite OP lol. Text me... I'll reply with a paragraph worthy of a Danielle Steel novel. Phone me? I'll take a running jump out of whatever fucking window is closest! It's just a communication thing. Judge on face to face x

Original poster
Palmtreesprings · 13/09/2022 21:50

OrangeFlowersAreLovely · 13/09/2022 21:47

I'm the opposite OP lol. Text me... I'll reply with a paragraph worthy of a Danielle Steel novel. Phone me? I'll take a running jump out of whatever fucking window is closest! It's just a communication thing. Judge on face to face x

Perhaps he’s just more of a phone call guy. I’ve been away this week and he texts to ask me what I was doing. I said I was by the pool and the next thing I knew he was ringing me for a chat!

OP posts:
OrangeFlowersAreLovely · 13/09/2022 21:52

Palmtreesprings · 13/09/2022 21:50

Perhaps he’s just more of a phone call guy. I’ve been away this week and he texts to ask me what I was doing. I said I was by the pool and the next thing I knew he was ringing me for a chat!

Show quote history

Oh God... he phoned you? What the fuck is WRONG with people?! Sick in the head. Just text me and I'll see you when I see you for fucks sake! Haha. See? Communication. We're all different 😃

Original poster
Palmtreesprings · 13/09/2022 21:56

It’s bizarre @OrangeFlowersAreLovely when his name came up on my phone I was like WTF, can’t we just text, I’m at the pool surrounded by people and my son is here 😂

OP posts:
Cherchezlaspice · 13/09/2022 21:57

When I was dating, I immediately binned anyone who would suggest or attempt to ‘ring me for a chat’.

Too different. It just wouldn’t work. 😂

Anyway, when I met DH, he was a rubbish texter. He’s still not great, but enjoys my lengthy messages every time I see an interesting pigeon or something. We made it work.

Cherchezlaspice · 13/09/2022 21:58

Palmtreesprings · 13/09/2022 21:56

It’s bizarre @OrangeFlowersAreLovely when his name came up on my phone I was like WTF, can’t we just text, I’m at the pool surrounded by people and my son is here 😂

So rude! 🤣

Sunnytwobridges · 14/09/2022 00:11

I hate texting and I’m a woman. I prefer to chat ion the phone. It’s easier and more interactive.

GentlemanJay · 14/09/2022 00:17

Most of my female friends use lots of emoji's in WhatsApp messages. I don't. I can't be bothered fishing around for them.

Does this mean I'm a bad communicator?

LHReturns · 14/09/2022 00:20

Totally normal for some men - and I find it quite sexy.

Cherchezlaspice · 14/09/2022 00:22

GentlemanJay · 14/09/2022 00:17

Most of my female friends use lots of emoji's in WhatsApp messages. I don't. I can't be bothered fishing around for them.

Does this mean I'm a bad communicator?

I think it depends on how old you are. I’m in my 30’s and I don’t know anyone my age who uses them, beyond the odd 😂. I know teenagers who seem to converse solely in emoji and I know quite a few people in their 50’s who LOVE them.

londonlass71 · 14/09/2022 00:27

Some men prefer a phone call. My BF sometimes doesn't even check his messages for days. Not just with me but with everyone. He is a phone caller though. He will message though when he can't talk like if he is out and its busy or noisy. If I haven't had a response I need to a message I'll ring. Everyone is different. This guy sounds like he would prefer to chat. The trouble is we are all so used to texting that speaking seems weird. You'll get used to it

Original poster
Palmtreesprings · 14/09/2022 08:55

LHReturns · 14/09/2022 00:20

Totally normal for some men - and I find it quite sexy.

In a bizarre way, I find it quite sexy too. I think it’s because he’s so self assured that he doesn’t need to love bomb me with platitudes 😂

OP posts:
Redqueenheart · 14/09/2022 09:02

I am a woman and I hate texting, using WhatsApp and talking on the phone! I never see the point of endless, banal chit-chats everyday.

I use texts or emails to arrange/confirm dates and then we can chat in person. I have more important and interesting things to do than just staring at messages all day.

I would find it impossible to be with someone who expect constant text messages every day.

Watchkeys · 14/09/2022 09:34

It doesn't matter how normal it is; you don't like it and you find it triggering.

Do you think that if something is 'normal' it means you have to put up with it? There's a million normals. Don't stick with somebody whose communication style makes you feel off, especially not after a few dates. Communication is the key to a successful, happy relationship. If he's not getting it right for you now, where do you expect to end up? On the same note, have you told him it bothers you? Healthy relationships don't generally start with having to ask a forum, before speaking to your partner about an issue. Your communication with him leaves something to be desired too.

confusedgirlie · 14/09/2022 09:38

Totally normal I bought this up with my bf the other day and he was like what do you want me to say " hello " he prefers talking on the phone

Cherchezlaspice · 14/09/2022 09:39

confusedgirlie · 14/09/2022 09:38

Totally normal I bought this up with my bf the other day and he was like what do you want me to say " hello " he prefers talking on the phone

‘I want you to say the things you say on the phone, just written down’?

DillonPanthersTexas · 14/09/2022 09:43

To be honest if something cant be communicated with a short text I will call. I am also on so many WhatsApp groups, most of which just contain inane chatter, I have turned off notifications and check in every so often when I have a quiet moment. Never really got people who feel the need to vomit their consciousness into some huge word salad of a text and I have even less time for people who shit the bed over response times to a message "OMG, there are two ticks, he has read it but I can't see he is typing, why not, WHYYYYYYYYYYY"

forlornlorna1 · 14/09/2022 09:51

Op my dh is still after over 20 years the worst at texting. I thought he wasn't interested when we first dated. I nearly binned him off. But when we were face to face he was great!. He'd call me and we'd talk for hours. But texting was not great. Turned out he's dyslexic and he didn't tell me for quite a while. He was ashamed.

But here we are many many years later and I'm lucky if I can get a three word text still to this day lol

Fatballs · 14/09/2022 09:55

Some men prefer a phone call. My BF sometimes doesn't even check his messages for days. Not just with me but with everyone.

My husband is exactly the same. If you want an answer quickly, you need to ring him.

Pinkbonbon · 14/09/2022 10:01

This particular scenario....sounds like he is just a bit thick. Either that or its a creepy checking up on you thing where he doesn't actually want to talk but wants your attention constantly ďrawn back to him. If its annoying you or making your feel insecure op, it's not a good sign. If he is away for a while then text him that he should have a good trip and you'll speak when he gets back. No way would ì waste a month on this. It smacks of you having low self esteem.

If he didn't like texting then he wouldn't keep initiating conversation via it.

Pinkbonbon · 14/09/2022 10:05

Ps: I bloody hate texting too. Some people do,but that's not the point. The point is, 1. people who hate texting don't tend to keep texting (unless it's to reply to you or confirm a date you are meeting up on or something important). And 2. If someone's communication style is making you feel uncomfortable, listen to your gut. Dating is supposed to be fun. If the fun stops, stop.