Signs a man is only after one thing?

Mushroomlady · 13/09/2022 20:12

Err making sexual comments, making stupid innuendos, sending dick pics, staring at boobs, asking about sex life, no previous significant relationships, wants to have drinks near your/their house & often later in the evening, wants to come round for Netflix, asks for you to send more photos, lots of compliments on appearance, being over familiar when they don't know you. That enough?

Mermaidwaves · 13/09/2022 20:16

I can only speak from my experiences OLD but here goes....

Immediately starts sexual chat, overfamiliar too soon, asking personal details about your body, wants intimate pics sent straight away.

Asks you nothing about yourself or shows any interest in your life or you as a person.

Expects the first date to be at someones house, he doesnt want to take you on a proper date.

Once you've slept with him he immediately cools right off, texting patterns change and he's suddenly 'busy' all the time with work/sick relative/ pet snail, you get the idea.

Very keen to keep things casual, has no interest in meeting each others friends and family.

Only contacts you when he wants a booty call, no messaging inbetween to see how you are.

I sadly have experienced all of this in my search for love, tragic isn't it.

dumpling12 · 13/09/2022 20:16

They have a Y chromosome?

itsnotmeitsdefinitelyyou · 13/09/2022 20:17

dumpling12 · 13/09/2022 20:16

They have a Y chromosome?

😂

Dacadactyl · 13/09/2022 20:20

NameChanger567 · 13/09/2022 19:59

What are some signs that a guy is only after sex? I would really appreciate any tips or hints that men give which show that they are only after sex.

I'll start by saying I've never done online dating.

I would personally make him wait. See what he does.

Pinkbonbon · 13/09/2022 20:26

Acts too into you too soon. Love bombing basically. Of course, narcissists do this too. Either way, something to look out for.

Feelings take time to grow organically. If he's telling you he has never met anyone as amazing as you three dates in...RUN!

BigFatLiar · 13/09/2022 20:31

Pinkbonbon · 13/09/2022 20:26

Acts too into you too soon. Love bombing basically. Of course, narcissists do this too. Either way, something to look out for.

Feelings take time to grow organically. If he's telling you he has never met anyone as amazing as you three dates in...RUN!

Three dates in half the the women on mumsnet would have already 'road tested' him for compatability.

TokyoTen · 13/09/2022 20:33

The dick pic.

Namechangerr1 · 13/09/2022 21:14

Constant messaging. Until such time they get what they wanted, then no messaging.

essex956 · 13/09/2022 21:57

Saying they want a relationship early on is usually a sign they're not looking for a relationship (IME). Similar to the way that men that say they are "genuine" in their profile are usually the opposite of genuine - real genuine men don't think being "genuine" is special enough to call out in a 2-3 line profile

SnoogyWoo · 13/09/2022 22:02

Breathing

Juanmariaramierz · 13/09/2022 22:38

Check his pulse...if its beating....he wants to hump you.

Suprima · 13/09/2022 22:56

essex956 · 13/09/2022 21:57

Saying they want a relationship early on is usually a sign they're not looking for a relationship (IME). Similar to the way that men that say they are "genuine" in their profile are usually the opposite of genuine - real genuine men don't think being "genuine" is special enough to call out in a 2-3 line profile

Very true. Because it’s usually in response to your ‘cheat sheet’ when women plaster all over their dating profile that they are looking for a relationship. They know that if they went in with ‘just want a shag’ or ‘something casual’ that they won’t get anywhere. So they lie.

Online dating and want a relationship? Your best response/status is -> “I don’t know what I’m looking for yet, depends on the person” or something of that ilk. Those who like you will rise to that and try to impress you. The chancers won’t want to graft.

Sandcastlesinthesky · 13/09/2022 23:00

Best way to weed them out is not to do home dates and don’t sleep with them for about 2-3 months. If they like you they wait.

Suprima · 13/09/2022 23:08

Doesn’t take you on proper dates is the big one. They’ll do walk dates, or pub dates which happen to be very close to their house. The ‘wandering around’ dates can usually last about 4-8 hours to build fake intimacy so you feel like you know them for longer. After one of these dates, or usually on the same fucking day- they’ll be then trying to get you over to theirs. You’ll notice you’re doing all of the leg work.

You want to be looking out for men who suggest dinner/activities/nice bar dates at x time on x date. Who confirm the plans well before, and don’t act like toddlers when you spend 2 hours with them and then head home. If he’s trying to get you over to his to sit on his shit sofa for date 2- he’s not interested in you.

There was another thread where a poster tried to argue that only ‘pick up artists’ take women on dates and arrange activities to get women to put out. Categorically not true. Unless they are wealthy, men who just want a shag can’t afford to date like this- nor do they want to put in the effort that comes with arranging dates. They are casting such wide a net eg. ‘anything with a pulse’ - they’d be running out of ideas and funds quickly.

PUA culture now is about spending no money or effort to filter out the women desperate for male attention that they’ll go on walk dates like golden retrievers. And the ones who will pay for an Uber to visit and shag them whilst they put in zero effort.

so in summary:

proper dates for the first 3-4 meetings at least, I’d probably accept an invite to dinner at theirs after that if I felt safe…but be prepared to end things if suddenly all dates and romance stopped after that point
he should put in leg work- suggesting restaurants or things to do

Whatsthepointofmosquitos · 13/09/2022 23:14

Tells you how awesome and beautiful you are, often, but also has a strange lack of common interests with you.

Doesn’t introduce you to his friends/family, or if he does, they seem totally disinterested in you.

Calls you by a cheesy nickname like babe instead of your actual name (so he doesn’t say the wrong name to the next girl).

minticecreamisjustok · 13/09/2022 23:14

Everything that mermaidwaves said

At least the ones that want to sext straight away make it easy to weed out.

More difficult ones would be, love bombing, are they really into you or not headfuck. You maybe dating seriously for months but he has no interest in meeting friends and family, comes out with excuses for not rushing things so he's keeping it casual because he doesn't want anything serious.

Not communicating much in between dates.

Don't go along with anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, if you aren't on the same page of how things are progressing, he's not for you.
If you question if he's really into you or not, he's not!

Anotherpubber · 13/09/2022 23:26

Why do so many women fall for these tricks do you think. Love bomb if for example seems so obvious to the outsider but not so the recipient.

talomon · 13/09/2022 23:28

Suprima · 13/09/2022 23:08

Doesn’t take you on proper dates is the big one. They’ll do walk dates, or pub dates which happen to be very close to their house. The ‘wandering around’ dates can usually last about 4-8 hours to build fake intimacy so you feel like you know them for longer. After one of these dates, or usually on the same fucking day- they’ll be then trying to get you over to theirs. You’ll notice you’re doing all of the leg work.

You want to be looking out for men who suggest dinner/activities/nice bar dates at x time on x date. Who confirm the plans well before, and don’t act like toddlers when you spend 2 hours with them and then head home. If he’s trying to get you over to his to sit on his shit sofa for date 2- he’s not interested in you.

There was another thread where a poster tried to argue that only ‘pick up artists’ take women on dates and arrange activities to get women to put out. Categorically not true. Unless they are wealthy, men who just want a shag can’t afford to date like this- nor do they want to put in the effort that comes with arranging dates. They are casting such wide a net eg. ‘anything with a pulse’ - they’d be running out of ideas and funds quickly.

PUA culture now is about spending no money or effort to filter out the women desperate for male attention that they’ll go on walk dates like golden retrievers. And the ones who will pay for an Uber to visit and shag them whilst they put in zero effort.

so in summary:

proper dates for the first 3-4 meetings at least, I’d probably accept an invite to dinner at theirs after that if I felt safe…but be prepared to end things if suddenly all dates and romance stopped after that point
he should put in leg work- suggesting restaurants or things to do

This is very true and such a detailed script. I have seen so many of my friends fall into this trap however. MN is full of them too. Rejoicing that the man arranged a date with them after sex so it's on. Then he slowly falls back, not quite ghosts, but becomes cold enough to keep you on the back burner as an option. For months.

Also, men who do non-dates and home invites are quite well-practiced at this. Decent men are not so quick to invite a women to their homes.

OldFan · 14/09/2022 00:48

Some of the users play a long game and charm (often many women) with friendliness etc at first.

But sooner or later a bloke only interested in sex will go on about sex more than you're comfortable with (unless you're not interested in anything else and are as obsessed with sex as him.)

OldFan · 14/09/2022 01:08

I dn't plan to be in a non-public place with any of them for a long time.

onehundredmillionyears · 14/09/2022 20:25

Its SO easy to tell

Jyst bide your time. They'll show their cards soon enough