I'm meeting my BF's parents and we don't speak the same language.

[Avastmehearties]

I'm suddenly nervous! I have a lovely BF of a couple of months and am meeting his parents tonight who live overseas. I only speak a bit of his language (started learning). They speak minimal English. I've happily managed this with an ex's family and friends' families abroad as they were each friendly and outgoing but he says his parents are not particularly so and are more likely to be very quiet and a bit judgey (forewarning me but letting me know it isn't personal). I have google translate and him but am very nervous about how to handle this and what to talk about as it might be me driving the conversation. They're not from a wildly different culture to the UK. I'm taking a present.

Anyone with experience of this??

Been there, it was great! Learn a phrase that's the equivalent of "Isn't this lovely" and smile and nod and repeat whenever possible. The relationship didn't last but his family thought I was delightful. Possibly simple-minded, but delightful.

I've done this twice, I'm English and had a Turkish partner for 4.5 years, his parents spoke no English at all and my relationship with his mum was fantastic - based on hand gestures and hugs, but it's amazing how well you can communicate with no mutual language if you try. We split over 18 months ago and I still miss her. I made a big effort to learn Turkish but was still by no means fluent, only very basic conversation.

I'm now with a polish guy whose parents also speak no english, although they do at least live in the UK (my Turkish relationship was long distance) I made it clear from the start that apart from basic phrases I wasn't planning to learn polish properly, so my OH just translates for me. However again it's amazing how easily you can communicate through hand gestures and facial expressions.

Good luck I'm sure it'll be better and easier than you think 😊

Aha that's a great point bibliomania ! I'm going to look up.a couple of cheery variations!

Yes myself and my French mother in law communicate via big smiles and cups of tea. She's v easy going though.
I take French lessons and can costly understand her, but my confidence in speaking it gives my a block and I can never get any bloody words out myself!!

Thanks!! There will be food so that's a good ice breaker at least re gestures etc!

Well, they were really rather lovely!

Glad it went well OP. The fact you would even post here shows how lovely you are. How could they not find you a delight?

Ex DH was bengali and me and MIL never once had a row! It was gestures and guesswork all the time. She thought I was this proper, charming, polite English lady who never said a rude word. It can work to your advantage OP!

I maintain its the secret to our successful marriage, MIL and I engage on a superficial level, hugs, smiles, etc. When we first met, I got some pleasantries mastered, would make a point of asking how to say certain words and generally being the smilest person in the room. Now between us we can speak enough of the others language to muddle through on day-to-day stuff, but any 'big' conversations have to be dealt with by DH so I can sidestep any of his family drama (and due to his stepsister, there is a lot!)

Smile and nod.

It can be better not understanding. My German boyfriend's mother, one of the first things she said in my hearing that i understood was, "why didn't she iron your shirt?" I decided it was better for all that I didn't let her know I understood. I wrote her lovely letters in German about safe things like the garden, but I struggled to follow her strong regional accent with a lisp, and it became clear this wasn't always a bad thing...

I learned my MIL's language (she speaks hardly any English) and soon wished I hadn't when I began to understand what she was actually saying. Hand gestures and hugs might be the best choice!