So. I'm a 35-year-old female, married, with a toddler and pregnant (still early days). But there's this recurring thing in my relationship with my husband. I actually just have to vent, but also need to just hear that I'm not crazy and that my expectations aren't rubbish.
Two years ago, I wanted to start studying for my degree but because I'd been a stay-at-home mom for a couple of years prior, I had little of my own money. Husband came up with the idea that he'll get a student loan for me and then he'll support me with looking after our toddler when I have my exams and things due. Because of this reason (our toddler goes to half-day school, so she spends afternoons with me), the support from my husband, I agreed and started the journey. A year in I set my sights on achieving a cum laude because it would put me in a favourable position to get a scholarship for my honours degree (and then not end up with another year's student debt).
So. About a year and a half into my studies, I'm achieving a 90% average in all my classes and I'm well on my way to the cum laude as planned. Up until this point I've been sharing my success with husband and mom and whoever else, so everyone knew I was doing well and loving it. Then, as per our arrangement, I communicate 9 weeks in advice to my husband, the details and dates around my final exams for the year so he organises his schedule around work, life and helping out with our toddler (as was promised and agreed on). This is done and he says its all good and full steam ahead.
The day of my exam he tells me 'he has a work social he has to attend' and leaves it at that. Now I know from prior experience, these work socials are not mandatory and even if they were, 'my wife is writing an important exam' is a sufficient excuse to either get out of or postpone the social. But he does neither. I also know that these work social are not scheduled the morning off, but rather a month in advance. So he knew, and didn't communicate it. No. Instead he drops our toddler at home, and goes to the social and I end up having to do my exam online, and score just under 50% because I have a screaming hyper toddler to deal with. This 50% cannot be contested, and I cannot retake the exam.
So effectively I'm feeling like my husband ruined and sabotaged my chances of success. And this cum laude meant a lot to me.
We converse about it, he plays the victim. I get angry and I scream, slam doors, cry, avoid him, and take the toddler to the park. But I'm angry. I want to do him harm because he's destroyed my dream, my goal. When I'm calmer, I tell him this and he says to me, "I shouldn't rely on other people for my dreams". WTF. He is the 'other people' I was relying on! I shouldn't rely on my own husband? I shouldn't trust that what he says he means, what he promises he will stick to? Am I crazy?