Sex drive clash

[Urnatalone]

How do you navigate different sex drives? Mine is like through the floor and OH is possibly normal for a man I don't know but feels high because mine is so low. I try to be reasonable and not constantly decline but I feel like OH does take the mick and every other day I have to either give in or constantly say no. I dont want to get to point where it's effectively scheduled! But I have explained to OH I just do not feel the inclination basically ever but maybe very very VERY rarely so when I'm always being pestered it puts me off even more. Most times I'm accepting but every once in a while it makes me lose my mind and I'm at that time now!

This is so common and sadly often leads to divorce.

Urrgh he sounds like a sex pest, whatever you offer is never enough and he's always 'pushing boundaries'. He sounds grim to me to be honest, I couldn't be doing with that and I'm not surprised you don't want sex with him.

For me different sex drives is a deal breaker as you both end up miserable, especially when one person has no interest in working with you on finding a solution that works for you both - but just wants what they want.

@C1N1C can she 'placate with oral' ?
Or is she 'tempting' him by being naked ?
You sound vile.

Been there, got the scars. I’m actually having therapy at the moment which has been enlightening (she says mismatch is her bread and butter and one of the hardest things to negotiate honestly), and as I’m menopausal I’ve started testosterone which is a real eye opener - if I get the dose a bit high I suddenly know how a rampant 17 year old feels.

Imagine he went away for 3 months to work on an oil rig or something. How would you feel about sex by the time he came back?

I agree, there is nothing less sexy than an entitled sex nag. And 3-4 times a week sounds far too much for me, even if you schedule it.

I hated the idea of scheduling until I started

• remembering that I do actually enjoy sex once I’m warmed up, as long as the conditions are right
• scheduling it for times that work for me (not last thing at night when I’m knackered etc). Harder with small kids.
• consciously looking forward to it - anticipating it, seeing it as a nice part of the day/week

@C1N1C

I know you should be allowed to, but that could be viewed as an unfair temptation.

Of course she is allowed to - and it isnt unfair temptation.

My advice - really look into what thyroid issues can do and understand your wife and stop seeing it everything from your perspective and as if it revolves around you.

Your wife is probably having sweating and hot flashes so sleeping naked makes her feel comfortable - turning it around onto you is awful. And children need placating grown men do not - and certainly not in that way

Separate. This sounds a disaster of a relationship. One person feeling they are constantly pestered for sex and the other feeling rejected and unsatisfied.

The more you write, the clearer it becomes that you and you libido (low or not) is not the problem.
He is.

Tantra Healing is great for helping with low libido, intimacy or sexual issues, give me a shout if you'd like help with this.