Not really sure where to begin. Have namechanged and a few details so not to be outing but here's the gist. Together with DP 6 years and have toddler DC. I came home from work last night and he was drinking whilst watching DC (didnt seem drunk). I took DC to bed and went to bed myself a while later as had an exhausting shift. Whilst I was sleeping DP went on a cleaning spree unbeknownst to me. He heard me wake around 3am to use the toilet. A few minutes later he came up to tell me (very drunkenly) that he had cleaned out various kitchen cupboards and dumped a lot of things including toiletries that belonged to me as they were taking up too much space. I asked him why he didn't just leave them to the side for me to sort in the morning. He said he had asked me to sort them before (I can't recall this) and had enough "of me not listening" so took it upon himself to dump it all. I was quite upset and told him I was going to sleep as I couldn't understand why he didn't put the items aside. He stormed off and then sent me a text telling me to sleep in the spare room. I replied saying I didn't think I had done anything wrong. He then said he'd sleep downstairs. A while later he sends a message to apologise for getting angry. He comes up to bed around 430 and is thrashing about/snoring. I come up to him at midday (exhausted as I've been awake since 3) and ask him again why he didn't put it aside for me to sort. He gets angry again saying "you don't want to get me started on that again etc" I asked him did he not think he overreacted a bit . He says no, not at all and that I'm to stop talking about it. He said it was my fault for being so messy and he's sick of me etc. To put into context, the toiletries were in the downstairs cupboard as that's where I get ready for work early in the morning so not to disturb him. He was getting really angry that I brought it up and refused to acknowledge that he done anything wrong at all. I told him that a sentimental perfume had been thrown out. He replied with "well if it was that sentimental you wouldn't have left it in that cupboard".
He then went into a huff about something else a short while later and stomped off downstairs slamming doors. I'm starting to doubt myself now thinking that maybe I shouldn't have put the toiletries in there but I genuinely can't remember him asking me to move them. I can be messy sometimes but he can be too and I'd never throw his belongings out without asking him first. I spoke with a close family member who advised its borderline abusive but I'm not sure.