Coercive control CPS

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i was a victim of coercive control abuse and now my case has been passed on to CPS. I’m really anxious that there might not be enough to proceed further. Well according to me I gave them quite a lot of evidence but I’m not sure how CPS works and everytime I read online it says coercive control is very hard to prove. But I have submitted evidence of whatapp conversations where he is apologising for hitting me and even asking me to send a pictures of where exactly I’m sitting in the restaurant when I’m out with a friend. So if someone can share their experience with cps I would be so grateful! Thanks I’m advance.

Hi op

I'm a police officer and I've only managed to progress one coercive control through court but it's not impossible.

The one I prosecuted spanned 30 years and I took an 18 page statement detailing everything from the beginning of the relationship to the end , and the suspect shot himself in the foot after following her to the police station to see me and left a note in her car .

It is hard to prove - but I you have evidence that helps . The cos will be looking at whether or not there is a reasonable chance of prosecution in court .

How long was your relationship and how long were subjected to the abuse ?

my Ex has been charged with coercive control. He goes to court for trial soon (he pled not guilty). I have to give evidence.

I provided a folder full of WhatsApp messages between me and him where I was constantly explaining myself etc, I gave a statement to the police (a body cam video one when I went in to the police station to make a report) and then also a written one later on that day discussing what had happened throughout the years.
I have posts I’d made on here under different usernames when I thought I was losing the plot (checking I wasn’t).
I had 3 different family members give statements to the police about what they’d seen, how I behaved and what they witnessed in terms of my withdrawal from normal activities.

The CPS decided to charge him based on this evidence. It took 2 months for them to reach a decision.

I have no idea what the outcome of court will be.

I wish you the best of luck & hope they prosecute him for you. It’s so very stressful & I am hoping it will be over soon, he will be found guilty and he can stop telling everybody I’m a liar.

Returning

Just turn up
For court on the day and I bet my last tenner he will change plea to guilty on the day .

Their solicitors wait till very last moment because if you don't turn up then case is thrown out

I always say it's like a game of chicken - just turn up and I bet he'll change his plea and you won't end up giving evidence.

Hi @stillvicarinatutu Thank you so much for your response. Firstly I would like to say I've great respect for Police officers that deal with DV cases. Honestly, my experience with my officer helped me in my darkest days. Even though it took 8months to take my case to CPS. I know how hard she worked behind the scenes. So keep up the excellent work victims like me really need you guys.

Answer to your question above. The relationship lasted 4years. First-year there was subtle manipulation; everything covered with I love you so much and I care for you, that's why. However, when I moved in with him, everything became a problem. Before marrying him, I was a nursery teacher, and working with children has been my passion since I can remember. He made me quit my job; I had to ask his permission to leave the house, even if its to go and see my parents or go to Tesco. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup, was jealous of my best friend and called us lesbian (I only went out to see her 5 times in 3years and when I did go out, I had to send him pictures of where I was sitting in the restaurant and when I would come home he would start an argument). I wasn't even allowed to watch the animated Tarzan Disney movie because Tarzan is topless in the film (up to this day, I try to apply logic to his demands). Physical abuse was becoming the norm. He would hit me and then beg me to forgive him. He once dragged me out of bed and put me in a cold shower because I no longer wanted to argue; I just wanted to sleep. He had camera's outside the house, always watching my every move. He refused to wear condoms, and as a result, I got pregnant. And then he made me have an abortion because he felt I would love the baby more than him.

So I've submitted what app messages as evidence that shows how I would have to ask his permission to leave; also, in some of the conversations where he is apologising for physical hurting me. During the police interview, he denied all allegations and made no comment on all questions apart from regarding my laptop (He broke my laptop in an argument because he felt I loved my laptop more than him, so he told the officer that at the time he broke the laptop but it was his as I sold it off to him - however, there was enough evidence to show he lied). He also went with rough sex defence and had his family members give a statement that him and I used to play fight.

So I understand my abuse might not be as extreme as some of the people that I've read online, so cps' decision is based on evidence or how serve the offence was? It would be just so sad to know that after all this, he just says no comment and gets away with it.

I don’t have any experience of prosecutions- but we’ll done OP for getting out of this situation and what a better life you have to look forward to now 😁

Hi @Returninghisthings , I'm so happy to know your case is going to trial. Every step is a victory. I know the feeling when you get called out of a lair when after years of abuse, you finally decide to speak up. My Ex also abused his ex-wife, and up to this day, his parents say that both girls are lying. I was gaslighted so much by him and his family that they made me believe I thought I was been abused because I'm oversensitive.

I really hope and pray that the jury finds your ex guilty and he gets a criminal charge against his name. So he will think twice before abusing another human being. And like stillvicarinatutu suggested, just turn up and he is more likely to plead guilty last min. I wish you all the best for the trail and I hope you are doing well.

@Teenyliving Aww, thank you so much for your message. It means a lot when a stranger on an online forum is kinder than the man I married and loved. Thank you. I need to start focusing on my new life now.

Am in a similar situation. I've give police what I see as loads of evidence but I don't know if it's enough for him to be charged. I know I'm telling the truth but he should be punished for the horrible things he's done and I'd like to prove to his family that DC and I arent lying.
The police have been brill thou, they believe me it's jsut being able to prove it.
Really hard to move on when it's all still up in the air.

@thisisscary Yes, the police have been brilliant. I burst into tears when my police officer told me my statement was enough for her to pass it on to CPS. This is before I even sent her any evidence. It just meant a lot that finally, someone believed me. Unfortunately, my ex is so calculated and manipulated that you will never even think he uses foul language, let alone hits and abuse. I'm sorry you had to go through horrible things, and I hope you are on your healing journey.

If he gets charged please give evidence against him. So many DV cases get dropped because the victims withdraw. They mive on, they're scared, he/ his family intimidate them, it's so long after the event and they are so so tired and don't want to start it all again. So many reasons. If you withdraw or don't turn up then he wins.

I don't blame any of these victims, the system should be much faster, much better funded etc and it fails them.

Hi OP well done for all of this, it isn't easy giving a statement. You're right, it is a hard offence to get a charge on but what sometimes happens is if there isn't enough for the CCB the CPS can apply alternative charges instead for instance for the assaults and harassment behaviour. I hope you don't have to wait too long, it can be months to get a decision back. In the mean time are you getting support from an IDVA?

I’ve submitted as much evidence as I could about my ex partner to the police and I have been told it can’t be taken any further, it doesn’t meet the threshold. I’ve been having help from victim support for over a year and now it makes me feel I shouldn’t have left the relationship and it was in my head. I was voice recording the behaviour where I could as I felt it was me and I was going crazy. Has anyone else this? I feel so deflated.