DH constantly on phone

[Tuppy2]

From the minute he wakes up until he turns the light off my DH seems to be on his phone. I’ve tried explaining how it makes me feel (nag, nag, nag) but he gets very defensive and it will just end up in an argument. He says he is interested in current affairs and so wants to make sure he doesn’t miss out on anything. The irony! Friends and relatives notice it and make comments to me but he doesn’t hear them as he’s in his phone. I’m seriously bored and fed up. We’ve been married for 21 years and I don’t want to leave him but would love to hear if anyone has got any helpful advice?

I have no advice because I have the same problem...and I've been trying for 13 years to solve it!

His parents, his work colleagues, his work bosses, his friends...everyone has told him off for it. Told him how rude it is. Makes no difference. He is glued to his phone from the minute he gets up til the minute he goes to bed. Including when we are out with friends. I've lost count the number of times I've told him to stop staring at a screen when friends/family have been trying to have a conversation with him/us. He's beyond addicted.

It's the same when we are home and it's just the two of us. Constantly glued to phone/tablet/computer...during meals, watching tv, etc. Impossible to have a 'proper' conversation with him. We don't live together, because I know I would end up throwing one of his goddamn gadgets out of the window if we did...

You say you not want to leave him.

Why not?

Any good things about him? Or do you do all of the housework/admin/childcare too while he’s ‘on his phone’.

And what is he looking at all the time anyway?

There are loads of articles about how the negative effects on the user about prolonged smartphone use. Can you not seek them out and point out all the highlights?

My Mr's phone use became, what I thought, excessive, so I used to say "I give up I can't compete against the entire internet". Now we read fun)/happy/interesting articles to each other. Whole family plays wordle and a couple of other similar once a day quizzes.

Constantly news scrolling because it's largely difficult stuff is called doomscrolling. It's a waste of a life/time.

If you don't live together I would be tempted to get up and go home, ask him to go home, walk out of restaurants, with the "you would rather be with your phone I'm going" do this for a couple of weeks see if he changes. But don't actually removed him or yourself.

Tell him if he comes round to yours no phones at dinner, until TV is on etc. If that is unacceptable don't come round.

Basically if all he wants is his phone then make it that is all he has.

Sorry you do live together, more difficult but leave the room, go somewhere else, just make dinner for yourself say I am not making dinner for your phone.

Go out places.

Read an actual book.

What is he looking at? Because news can be kept up with couple of times a day or is he reading many opinion articles that just agree with his point of view? This is part of how society is becoming more insular because your views aren't challenged.

He's on MN obvs.

I don't want to leave him because he sends me messages like this:
I was going to do a slow cooker casserole for you this evening if that would be helpful xxx
We did have a chat once calmed down and I think he realizes it's a problem. Let's see.... Thanks for all the advice.

I refused to speak to exp when he was on his phone. I would just say 'it's ok I can see you're busy' every single time. They hate that