Me and dh have recently been to marriage counselling after a historic affair.
Turns out, I am really not over it (I knew I wasn't really, but just kept powering through and then life happens and you just get comfortable)
In the sessions i was easily able to dissect myself and my behaviour as to where I have "toxic" tendancies towards him.
I don't think I am good for him.
He however has been unable to really think why he cheated.
Other than he was lonely, not why that then meant he made a choice to be unfaithful.
We reached a crossroad in our session this week whereby we identified either we stay as we are when both of us are not getting what we require from the marriage (it has been pretty much sexless since ds was born 3 years ago), or we find a way forward and make a change (separate, open marriage - I'm not keen)
I have been unhappy for a while and often look at things in a logical fashion so have been thinking of the options for a fair while and have already come to terms a little with what might be.
The therapist said he was probably in shock so needs to take some time to think what he wants too and to speak to a friend or something.
Now I feel in limbo as I am waiting for him to "think" and come to me to see where he stands.
How long do I wait until I ask him instead of waiting.
He is still calling me sweetheart and saying he loves me so not sure he is coming to terms yet.