Guy pursued me and then told me he didn’t find me attractive

[apples654]

Just as the title says really. Younger guy pursued me, flirted, sexted and then when I asked him how he felt. he told me he didn’t find me attractive “in that way”.

I’m in my 40’s, but I have been told I look younger than I am, and have generally a good self esteem and have never really had trouble attracting the opposite sex. I’m just a bit devastated and confused. I know I’m being silly. But now I feel really old.

He’s now blocked everywhere but hell it hurts!

You're not old or unattractive. He maybe just wasn't feeling a spark/deeper feelings as opposed to not finding you physically attractive. Some people look for massive fireworks from day one which isn't always realistic.
If he pursued and sexted you then he would have found you attractive. He wouldn't have done those things if not.
I think he was clumsy with his wording but you deserve better! I hope you feel better soon!

@Cheeseburger43 ughh cheeseburger think you’re right but who will ever know for sure. Just very disappointed in myself for letting my guard down!

But something that helped me was realising that we'll never be attractive to 100% of people. Looking at supermodels, there are always people that have negative comments about them.
We'll never be everyone's type. Working in a school recently, I heard a lad whisper to his friend that I had a nice body. The friend replied, "Yeah but I don't like her face." Charming!
Not that I care what teenage boys think lol but that's not my point!

Perhaps he just enjoys the chase.

Don't beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong, we have to let our guard down to give people a chance.

He's started chasing someone else. I really wouldn't worry about it.

Has your communication been limited to messaging then?

No-one likes a brush off whatever the circumstances . I’m interested in why you set so much store in looking younger than you are though? It seems a lot of your self esteem centres around looking youthful and I can tell you its a futile pursuit. I’d concentrate in finding value in who you actually are and not how you want to be seen by the rest of the world.

@Cheeseburger43 this is so true isn’t it. Wow what a lovely thing to say 😬

@Divebar2021 no we were hanging out to and had a really good time. I don’t, it’s just that there is no doubt he prefers 25 yo girls.

@PermanentTemporary i agree!

I think this is a game to some men

@fedup078 yep sadly it is it seems. Also the way he told me was absolutely horrible.

Yep it was just a game to him. Chase you until you give in and then dump you and make you feel little and ugly. Don't give it a moments thought

Did you reject him in any way? Sounds like a spiteful move on his part.

@Sleepyquest yep indeed. Need a good nights sleep! Feel better tomorrow I hope.

@Imissmoominmama gosh no. Total opposite, just tried to make a move!

Sounds like he was just interested in the chase. Messes with your head. Try and forget about it, he’s not worth it.

This is a cruel fad in the “lads” culture they have to pay a forfeit if they date an attractive woman, it hurts, most grow out of it in their 30s.

Look at it as a lucky escape, he's obviously not the charmer he initially portrayed himself as.

Negging, he sounds like a right little cunt. Glad you have fucked him off.

This ^

I can assure you that he did find you attractive but he got some sort of pathetic one upmanship thrill of telling an attractive woman she isn’t so. Horrible little prick.

And pls dont let one weird little bell end with issues make you feel unattractive!

What a horrible thing to do. Pursuing you, then telling you he doesn't find you attractive? This is all to do with him being a complete arse and absolutely nothing to do with how attractive you are.

Please don't feel disappointed in yourself - you've done nothing wrong here. It's absolutely fine to "let your guard down" and tell someone you like them! He's the one with the issues.

How old was he?