Hi everyone,
I spent my childhood being afraid of my dad as there was lots of smacking beyond the norm, he threatened me a lot, locked me out of the house and in cupboards when I was naughty, made me feel worthless and emotionally neglected me as he was always out drinking. As an adult he didn't change much until I had my first born, he then admitted what he did, apologised and genuinely seemed to change and so I chose to forgive and move on. My mental health has been significantly affected by all of this though.
Over the years things have still been a lot better than previously but I am still the black sheep. My family can literally be out around the corner from me and they won't invite me along. I don't expect to be invited to everything but this is a regular occurrence. My dad still spends lots of time at the pub but functions and works etc even my first born has commented on how much he's out drinking but of course that is my father's choice. I can't control him. My other issue is that he has a tendency to go hot and cold. He can be amazing but then if he doesn't like something he will go silent for days or weeks. He does it to my mother for no reason, he does it to my sibling if she gets something he hasn't got and now he's doing it to me and DH, we believe because we got a new car, ever since we got it, my dad has gone quiet. He came to my youngest birthday, stood in another room, didn't really interact much with her, when BIL and DH started talking cars he was giving filthy looks out to them. He's coming today and I am dreading it as I feel if he's awkward again then I'll just snap and the kids are here. My husband also has a tendency to say what he thinks on the spot too. I am worried all hell is going to break loose but is it about time someone just puts him on the spot and tells him to grow the hell up? If it wasn't for the kids, I think I'd go no contact.