He said no to sex after complaining he wanted more of it.

[Pumpkinsanddaisies]

I am looking for some advice please.

DP would like more sex. For the past week or 10 days he has been dropping major hints about missing sex, being horny etc but for various reasons it just hasn't happened. I was starting to feel annoyed by the repeated hints and what felt like had turned into complaining, but didn't say anything as I too would like more sex and we are child free this weekend so I thought there would be opportunity then.

This afternoon I thought that I really should make more of an effort and I know if its left till bedtime I can often be too tired so when he got home from work and was showering I voiced that I would be up for it when he had finished in the shower. This gave him a semi and I thought woohoo! Sorry for TMI. I thought he would be pleased after basically spending days complaining about not having sex, but he rejected me when he got out of the shower and said lets do it at bedtime.

This is not the first time this has happened, there have been several times I've tried to initiate but have been rejected. I would be fine with this as of course he has the right to not want to have sex but its annoyed me and upset me that I've had days and days of being made to feel bad for not wanting sex and then the second I do he says no. It feels like he is trying to punish me or something or cut off his nose to spite his face.

It has escalated to a row and I've said its not fair to complain about lack of sex and then just reject me first chance. He says he wasn't rejecting me as he said we could do it later but he knows I will be too tired then. He says he thinks about sex with me all the time but I am beginning to doubt that now.

We are now sat in separate rooms and I don't know how to fix this really and I am really hurt to be honest. Surely if he is that keen to have sex with me he would have bitten my hand off? Am I being too sensitive?

I suppose it comes back to the initiating thing. He wants it when he spontaneously initiates it, but not when she does.

Me initiating has usually ended in rejection.

He is punishing you. What an absolute prick.

Maybe he thinks you were just trying to placate him with a quick shag , and nothing else will really change

Just because he wants to have more sex in general, doesn't mean he's forced to want it on a specific occasion.

You said you yourself would like more sex. Does that mean if your DH is up for it when you come in from work, you should say yes? He has every right to say no if he isn't up for it.

I think it's a childish power/control thing. He's already sulky and moany if he doesn't get what he wants so I'd suggest it's another immature response. You say no a lot so he's now saying no to you and 'making' you wait till later. It smacks of low self esteem and just general patheticness IMO. He needs to grow up.

Tell him to stop fucking moaning about it from now on. Having rejected you he has no right to carry on whinging about it - its pathetic. I wonder if he is moaning about wanting more sex to cover up his lack of libido.