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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Ending a longterm relationship

10 replies

jinglybell · 09/09/2022 18:28

This is the bare bones of an awful situation.

My partner wanted us to have a threesome. I refused for years. He kept on at me for years. I finally did it.

Myself and the other man have become very close, very very close. We have feelings for each other. Partner knows we are still in touch and is happy for us to sleep together again.

I'm falling in love, I want to leave my partner but I'm scared.

Help.

OP posts:

Catlover1970 · 09/09/2022 18:30

Is this a real post?!

B1rd · 09/09/2022 19:31

Have a Polyamory relationship!

DocEmmitBrown · 09/09/2022 19:34

If this is a real post then the bare bones of the situation as you put it are , You should have never been together in the first place ! Love is a mixture of certain things. 1) Trust. 2) loyalty . 3) honesty. 4) very important is number 4 …. The person you love is the only person you ever want and even the thought of allowing anyone else to touch them is disgusting. Im sorry to read that your OH spent so long talking you into this and also that you caved in to it. For gods sake find someone who loves and respects you for you and only wants you . Good luck if you decide to move on .

hewouldwouldnthe · 09/09/2022 19:36

Leave your partner and be with the other man provided he is not already in a relationship, then try to have a normal life.

DocEmmitBrown · 09/09/2022 19:46

Your OH are the OM are the same . They both wanted to share you . Your worth more than that. Find someone new and someone good who’s good for you. This may or may not take some time but it’ll be worth the time it takes you .

DatingIsDifficult · 09/09/2022 19:49

‘’Love is a mixture of certain things. 1) Trust. 2) loyalty . 3) honesty. 4) very important is number 4 …. The person you love is the only person you ever want and even the thought of allowing anyone else to touch them is disgusting.’’

Love is what you want, as long as you and your beloved are feeling the same then there’s no issues. Love takes many forms, it doesn’t have to be only one thing.

Winceybincey · 09/09/2022 19:50

Is your partner straight?

DocEmmitBrown · 09/09/2022 19:54

To quote a very well known line from a film …… I’m not a clever man but I know what love is !! And love is not sharing your partner no matter what .

Furnitureflipper · 09/09/2022 19:55

Forget both of them and start a new life.

Original poster

jinglybell · 09/09/2022 23:31

I'm hurt that my partner wanted this, that he kept on and pressured ne into it, that he could want me to have sex with someone else and that he didn't listen when I told him over years that threesomes can ruin relationships.

I'm annoyed with myself that I gave in to something I didn't want to do and I feel like I've cheated. I'm scared to leave my partner because I don't actually want to hurt him, I'm scared that I won't feel like this again if i don't give things a go with the new guy.

It's an awful mess and I have nobody to talk to about any of it.

OP posts:

Flip