Help and advice - DP too involved with work being

[BlueBritish]

Hi all, posted here a few times in terms of help with my relationship. We got a counsellor and things seemed to be on the mend for a bit but has all gone to pot now.

As a little background, my partner is in a good job where his presence is important. He works 50+ hours a week 5, sometimes 6 times a week. He pays for house bills etc. I have a part time job which I am limited to my hours because of his work. I really don’t like where I work but it’s very flexible around him and I do pay my own bills, phone, car etc. DP gets a whole lot more than I do but I never seem to get any money towards anything, I.e caring for our 2 yo DD who does playgroups and dance groups etc, I always find myself skint and unable to do much with her.

Anyway, firstly, we went away not long ago for 5 days and he complained that I asked him to help with our DD so much, as apparently I shouldn’t have done as he’d worked too much. He doesn’t have to work all these godly hours, not many people who are in the same role as him do but he chooses too because he wants to continually be better and do better.

Secondly, he’s just applied for a project within his role. I was all for it at first until he told me last night that we have to cancel our holiday we’ve booked in November (which I was seriously looking forward too) if he gets this role. More than likely he will do.

I am seriously at my wits end with him. I literally rule my life around his work. My life is full of disappointment and let downs because of his job. It’s really driving our family apart. I worked out that personally I would probably be better off financially without him.

My question to everyone is, do I stay or do I go?

I’m not sure I’m happy anymore :(

If you have to ask that question, you've already had enough.

I'd leave.

Of course you should go ! Good luck x

Have you told him how you feel? That you are at your wits end and considering leaving? Have you given him the opportunity to make positive changes and he hasn't bothered?

It took serious illness for my husband to get some perspective on life work balance.

If I were you I’d go.

He’s probably financially abusing you, from what you’ve said.

He’s not interested in spending time with your DC or making any effort to prioritise his family life.

I literally rule my life around his work. My life is full of disappointment and let downs because of his job. It’s really driving our family apart.

Counselling hasn’t changed him. You certainly shouldn’t have another DC with him or your situation will be much worse and another DC will have a disinterested father.

MN can’t and shouldn’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that in your situation I would not want to stay.

There is no relationship here. He gave his sperm to create a child and that's it.

People don't change. Leave.

Go.
Have you been told the same every time you have posted ?

How does your finances work? Assuming you don’t have a joint account that you can dip into? Does sound like financial abuse. How dare he complain you’re asking for help with the little one on holiday. He’s on annual leave from his job and he’s a parent, that means a holiday is no longer a time to fully relax as you’d like to when on a break from work. He shouldn’t have had children if he isn’t prepared to parent. As that’s what you’re asking him to do, parent his own child, not help you. It’s not fully your role to look after your child you had together. Personally, I’d leave. Good luck OP

I had one of these. At the end of our marriage I remember begging him to work 'only' six days instead of 7. I remember the humiliation and rejection feelings too. No kids, but he had no other conversation in the end. Sorry OP, it hurts I know.

Yes remember her last post.

DP gets a whole lot more than I do but I never seem to get any money towards anything, I.e caring for our 2 yo DD who does playgroups and dance groups etc, I always find myself skint and unable to do much with her.

Leave him.

You keep posting and everyone keeps telling you the same thing.

He's not a kind man. Never be with a man who isn't fundamentally kind.

Does he seriously not contribute anything financial towards the child you have together? If not, what does he say about why he doesn't? If he is like this, I find it crazy that you could continue to be intimate with such a man.