What do you expect from your friends? If you are an adult.

[elciruelo]

I have a good friend we will call A who has a partner, kids, a business, animals, and a hobby.

Another one of her friends B (who does not have a partner or children) is berating A for not having enough time to spend with her.
I wish I saw more of A but I know she is busy. I am busy too: we live two hours drive from each other. We chat when we can on the phone and WhatsApp each other.

As my life has gone on I realise that friendships wane and wax for that matter, new people come into my life, but that few people are deliberately thinking "how can I piss this person off?"
They are just trying to juggle everything that life is throwing at them.

Hopeful
Bump

She sounds like she is juggling alot. Its hard op. Im finding everyone either works FT. I have kids sport at wends. Visit elder parents. Then its monday again. But you do your best

Interesting question. Most of my close friends are from university and college, so plenty of years under our belts and we don't live near each other. Because of this I think my answer is 'not much', not in a horrible way but we all have families, lives, work etc so we chat on WhatsApp, meet up for important events (weddings, baptisms etc) and try to arrange days when we're free. Sometimes we can go weeks without speaking or months without meeting but it doesn't matter, I know we're still friends.

I expect the odd night out or coffee here and there & hope if I organise something big that they'll come to it (or at least say they can't come & not flake at the last minute.) Depends a bit on proximity.

Interesting question. I think with good friends, you are prepared to weather the highs and lows and be flexible as your lives change. It can be difficult to maintain friendships while you go through different things, eg most of my friends have babies/toddlers while I'm divorcing alcoholic husband. We are in really different places. I sort of wish I had more friends who weren't happily settled down as I feel they'd have more time and be able to empathise, but that's just life and I know my friends are there if I really need them/ask for help. It's swings and roundabouts isn't it?

I guess it depends on the friend in question and your history together. At the moment I am actively trying to cultivate more friends. This is because I have relocated around the world a couple of times so unfortunately have had to leave amazing friends behind on other continents! Then I have a couple of really good friends closer to home but they both have a lot more family commitments than me so I completely understand when it's a struggle to meet up.
I am in the process of applying for a group that I am hoping will give me a new crop of friends!

I consider myself an extrovert and generally have always loved to meet new people but with the relocation, cancer (fully recovered) and covid my self-confidence in new social situations has taken a battering. The group I am applying to be part of has a strong social/community component but also studies together and does service work, so it's almost like an "excuse" to make friends.

I think we have to accept that friendship can change over our lifetime and if a friendship isn't working or meeting your needs anymore than make MORE friends!!

B has to realise that A’s life has moved in another direction. You’re not all young, free and simple nowadays, but have responsibilities, and the distance between you is an additional factor. B will loose A as a friend if she becomes too needy.

I have a friend who I used to meet up in London regularly. During childhood years, these meet-ups dwindled although we kept in touch. Kids are now adults and these meet ups have resumed again.

I expect my very good friends to be there when I need them, and to tell me when they need me. In between, well - lunch/ coffee/ an exhibition is nice, but we've all got full-on jobs and children. We do see each other though. Just not as often as we'd like to.

I have 5 close friends I text pretty much every day. Most of them I hardly ever get to see - they live too far away and everyone is busy. It's only if I didn't hear from them for a prolonged period of time I would be hurt and sad.

Other friends are less important - text/see them occasionally, but if I didn't hear from them for ages I wouldn't be too downhearted.