Apologies this is long winded;
3 years ago my partner and my parents were selling our properties and we made the decision to pool our money and by a big property. They're mid to late 70's and I thought that living together would make life easier, as I'd be there to help and care for them. We all moved into a beautiful home, it's big enough that we have our own space and life seemed good.
6 months down the line my partner and I noticed that my Dad's mood was starting to change. He was becoming moody, snappy and he was making my Mum's life hell. I'd also noticed he was very suspicious on his phone and I discovered that at 78 years old, he was on dating sites and chatting with other women. After a few sleepless nights, I made the decision to tell my Mum.
She confronted him, initially he was angry and tried to lie but then he played the victim and blamed it on depression and feeling lonely. He now feels he did nothing wrong.
They've been married for nearly 50 years, my Mum didn't want to give up and insisted that he went for counselling, to help him address his issues. She told him that he needed to change otherwise he'd have to go. I told her that we'd support her no matter what her decision and not to feel obliged to stay with him because of us but I think she feels responsible for him.
When we were kids he was never a loving Dad, his work was his love but we were always provided for. He's a difficult character, he hides behind a temper and we often had to walk around on eggshells. He is also very insecure he'd accuse my Mum of affairs (not that she had the time) and he doesn't really have any friends. He had a neglected childhood and this has always been used as an excuse, as kids we just accepted it was the way he was because of this.
The time I spent living away from my parents I'd got on well with him, I thought with age he'd mellowed. We've ran a business together for years and on the whole, we've got on ok but he's becoming impossible to live with. His moods are terrible, you can't discuss anything with him without it becoming an argument, he doesn't take responsibility for anything, nothing pleases him, he doesn't have a nice word to say about anybody, he sees everything as his, he lies, he thinks he knows better than anybody and worst of all, he bullies my lovey Mum. It's really getting me down.
My Mum, my Partner and I are happy living together, we all get on well and we love our home, we've invested a lot of money and time making it ours, the area we live is beautiful but my Dad is the issue, it feels like he carries a giant storm cloud. I can see the toll he's taking on my Mum, she's admitted that she doesn't love him anymore and of late she's said that she's had enough, I know she'd be happier without him. Legally the house is in my name although they did invest money in it, we could ask him to leave but he's 79 years old and this doesn't feel morally right. I am now considering selling and giving him his share but my partner feels it's wrong to upset the lives of 3 people for the sake of him and his behavior. I also know it'll be a battle, as he doesn't see my Mum as equal and sees their money / assets as all his.
Has anybody been in a similar situation?