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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm thinking about ending things with my bf

15 replies

spookyyy · 08/09/2022 14:47

I don't know wether I leave my boyfriend.

I am not happy anymore. We have a 10 month baby together. All we ever do is argue, he is only seems to think about himself and what he has to do and doesn't consider anything other than his own job and endeavours important. For example, he puts every minute of each day into computer science (his career endeavour) he's just left uni and is looking for a job. I work part time and do most of baby duties and pretty much all the house work. I don't have any time to do anything for myself really. And he doesn't seem to care, he is allowed to do what he wants when he wants... however I'm not treated that way back, I understand he wants to work hard to provide for his family but in the mean time he forgets that there's things around his computer that are equally or more important.

He's stubborn, and flips out like a child when he things aren't how he wants them to be. And I'm sick of being shouted at and met with a shit attitude most days.

We haven't had any time together for a long time and we have a night away booked just the two of us this weekend... I'm really debating wether to just fuck it all off tbh...

I dont know if I would be happier without him. I love him, but maybe im not - IN- love with him anymore. I really wanted this to work as a family to for my baby and us.. but he pushes me away.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/09/2022 15:19

"He's stubborn, and flips out like a child when he things aren't how he wants them to be. And I'm sick of being shouted at and met with a shit attitude most days".

Its over if he is doing that. He does not treat his work colleagues with such overall contempt does he?. How does he get on with his parents, mother in particular?.

What are you getting out of this relationship now?.

His shit attitude will start rubbing off on your child in due time if it is not already. What do you want to teach your child about relationships and what is he learning here?. What is he going to remember about his childhood if you and your partner stay together; constant arguments and you as his mother being abused. Seeing all that will harm your child.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/09/2022 15:21

Ok he is not in work at present but again he does not treat other people around him like he does to you. Its not your fault he is like this and you did not make him that way either.

TeeBee · 08/09/2022 15:27

'I am not happy anymore.' There you go, reason enough.

Fireflygal · 08/09/2022 15:35

How old are you both?

spookyyy · 08/09/2022 15:58

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/09/2022 15:21

Ok he is not in work at present but again he does not treat other people around him like he does to you. Its not your fault he is like this and you did not make him that way either.

I know however I also understand that he's also acting this way due to being stressed about looking for a job etc. but I'm still sick of it, because I also get stressed but I don't treat him shit because of it 😣

OP posts:
spookyyy · 08/09/2022 15:58

Fireflygal · 08/09/2022 15:35

How old are you both?

I'm 25 and he's 40

OP posts:
Fireflygal · 08/09/2022 19:58

I thought he might be young and needed time to grow up...but he isn't going to change.

Did you meet when you were much younger?

He seems to have no respect for you so that will be a very unhealthy relationship for your child.

Crimeismymiddlename · 08/09/2022 22:52

It might be time to reevaluate the relationship. I could understand a man in his early twenties behaving as you describe. Not a forty year old man.

Aikko · 08/09/2022 23:06

spookyyy · 08/09/2022 15:58

I'm 25 and he's 40

oof, I think there might lie a hint of what he is like.

He doesn't want to man up.

GreenManalishi · 08/09/2022 23:10

You're perfectly right to be sick of being shouted at, this is not something I'd be prepared to let my child grow up with.

A family with you and your baby and no shouting tantruming selfish man-toddler who doesn't contribute anything other than stress would be far better than this.

Sicro · 08/09/2022 23:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Always4Brenner · 08/09/2022 23:13

Leave do you want this for the rest of your life? No of course no get out life’s too short.’

Opentooffers · 08/09/2022 23:36

At his age, this is who he is. Not going to change. Is this his first DC or did he have some with a previous partner?

Melonapplepear · 22/11/2022 20:48

I really don't think he is going to change his ways at 40s. If he hasn't learned not to take his stress out on others now he is unlikely too, unless he suddenly has a lightbulb moment and gains some perception. My ex was like this although in a different way, he just didn't want to know and got defensive and stormed out when it was mentioned. I just got sick of it and ended the relationship.

Thepossibility · 22/11/2022 20:54

Yikes I thought you were going to say he was 18. Fuck that behaviour from a man in his 40's!

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