Finding new home after divorce as a single parent

[Thatgirlcat]

Hi guys,

I'm just wondering where I will live once separated from spouse? we currently own a home together and have 2 children both under 5. If we separate and sell our home, it is estimated that we will get more than we paid for, and therefore I would have a large lump sum at the end of it.

After doing some research, I've found that even with the money I still would not qualify to get a mortgage as a single parent. So my question here is what do I do? Do I waste all that money on renting a place? I can't live with family/ friends either and tbh the thought of renting and wasting that money seems crazy to me, but I maybe this is the only thing I can do for now?

Has anyone been in the same situation, or can advise me on what to do?

Is sharing the current house not an option?

Another possibility is that between you you buy or rent a one-bedroom flat, and alternate which of you stats there and who stays in the house, with the children staying in the home the whole time.

Not really, we had a conversation before and he won't let me keep the house with the kids so would have to sell. I looked into remortgaging, but won't get approved. And I looked into buying a home with the money from the sale of the house, and again won't get approved for a mortgage. I just feel stuck in a vicious cycle.

Get legal advice, I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t just get to decide that you can’t keep the house.
lots of places do a free half hour

Can you try and get a smaller house than what you want that way you still stay on the property market. Are there any shared ownership properties for sale in your area? Another option would be to move to a cheaper area which I know isn't always ideal. Otherwise the only option would be to rent.

@Thatgirlcat a lot of women don't seem to realise it's possible to get a mortgage based on all of your income, wages, and benefits, child maintenance etc, talk to a broker, you might be surprised what you can afford. I would strongly advise using any money from the house as a deposit rather than using it to pay rent.

What size mortgage can you get? You will have to adjust your expectations as you won't be able to afford something similar to what you currently have as presume that is based on 2 salaries.

There are a couple of shared ownership houses available in my area, which I could afford the mortgage. I calculated roughly any benefits I would be entitled to and added those to a mortgage calculator and still wouldn’t be approved. So if I was to have to rent, what happens when all the money I have runs out? Because it’s roughly about £1500 to rent in my area for a 2-3 bed, then with all other bills it’s a total of about 4K a month. I wouldn’t last long in rented before all the money gets used up, then what do I do?

I think you need to get a consultation with a solicitor.
Where are the children going to live? With you? Or 50/50 with Dad?
As part of your divorce you should get a financial order. You should get advice from a solicitor as to what you should get and you can either try to come to an agreement amicably when dividing marital assets or try mediation. If this isn't successful then make an application to court for financial arrangements. The marital assets as a starting point, will be divided 50/50 but then that is adjusted depending on each of your needs, if the children are living with you as their main home then the judge will want to make sure that you have enough to provide the children with a home, if that means staying in the marital home then you won't be forced to sell and you can carry on living there with your children.

Would you have a large enough lump sum to pay cash for a small property in a cheaper area? Rent that out ( doesn’t matter if it’s other end of the country as you’d use an agent) Use that rent towards your rent on a property you can live in.

You'll need to speak to a solicitor about selling the house and you may get a bigger chuck off the equity depending on your need and earning capacity. You'll probably need to go through mediation which buys you a bit of time. Also speak to a mortgage advisor and join experian/equifax to check your credit rating and ways to improve it if it needs improving. In the meantime try and save as much money as possible to help towards the solicitors and moving costs.

Have you spoken with a mortgage broker? I'd recommend you do as they know which lenders to try over others and what you might need to do to get a mortgage in your position. My broker also serves as my sounding board and general partner as I'm doing this on my own. He's like the adult in the room!

I m moving out of area as I can't afford where we were on my own. Fresh start.

I have 2 primary aged kids BTW, I'll be driving them to school on my commute. It's pretty much the only option so I've had to just get on with it and accept it. I lived in the family home while ex rented until we were ready to make the decisions needed. So if you can buy time, do. Making decisions together doesn't need to be fraught, you're just trying to do your best for the kids and you.

the only issue with this is that the OPs husband will also need somewhere to live, he doesn’t just vanish, if he is going to have the children any amount of time, then he also needs enough money to afford somewhere suitable.

agree with approaching a broker, considering other areas which might be cheaper. But otherwise no you don’t have much option but to use the equity to pay rent. Find out what the max savings you can have for UC and then once you get down to that level you can claim benefits toward the rent etc. Alternatively depending how far off you are from earning enough to buy, could you look for a better paid job as it will take some time to sort a divorce / house sale. For me I’ve rented for 10yrs since I split with my ex. I live down south and even on a good salary I’m not earning enough to buy. My plan was to move back to my native north to buy once youngest left school, but I’m now in a position I could buy something smaller where I am, so might stay. Rather madly my ex and I are trying to make a go of things again, 11yrs after we split. But I still want to purchase my own place and get some security. Once bitten, thrive shy!

My husband makes more than double my salary, and is due to get a pay increase so I’m sure he will be fine. And as for who has the kids, I would like to share pretty equally, but haven’t really thought too much about it at this point

What percentage of the equity is he planning on "allowing" you? Considering he won't "allow" you and your children to remain in the home?

@Boopeedoop I have no idea, we haven’t really sat down and talked about assets etc. I feel like he thinks we will just get and even 50/50 from the profits

50/50 is only a starting point. Have you done the maths with 60% of the equity?

divorce.wikivorce.com/guides-financial-settlements/how-to-calculate-a-fair-financial-divorce-settlement.html

@Thatgirlcat how many nights a week you have the children will make a big difference to how much child maintenance you are entitled to from your ex, so bear that in mind.

Thank you everyone, you’ve all given really useful info. Will deffo look into broker/ solicitor etc for an insight into all the legal bits 🙂

You must see a family law
solicitor - you need to know your rights before you lose your home!
You are divorcing so there needs to be a proper financial settlement taking into account who is the primary cater etc.
You could claim on his pension and this could give you enough money to keep the house.