Dp can't get "going"

[tiredtiredtiredd]

Dp has been having some issues recently, he can't get an errection. Which means our sex life is suffering. We used to have sex a few times a week, now we're lucky if it's twice a month.

It's not me, I know he is physically attracted to me. He's under alot of stress just now but this problem has been going on for months?!

I've asked him to phone gp to get his bloods etc checked, he still hasn't done it.

I love him so much with or without the sex but I do miss being intimate with him.

Has anyone been in the same position? Any advice?

Not interested in viagra etc I would rather it was natural.

It can be an indicator of other health problems as I am sure you are aware.

So he needs a qualified doctor really.

@frozendaisy thank you, I thought that myself. I will push him again to contact gp.

Stress, lack of sleep, depression, health problems - anything could be contributing.

The GP may be able to help, but you OH needs to be open with how he is feeling as well.

Is he watching porn? That can sometimes cause issues. It’s probably quite embarrassing for him hence why he’s hesitant to go to the doctors.

Stress is real killer for mens sex drive,
will probably resolve itself is the stress issue can be resolved

Yes to stress causing this, issue, was very stressful when I was made redundant,
Everything came back to working order when I got a job again

How old is he OP? My DP gets this the odd time, he's 55 now and occasionally takes Viagra

OP - I think you need to read up and j servant more how medicines and, specifically, viagra works.

When you get, say a headache, or something worse - do you wait for it all to get resolved ‘naturally’?

Viagra doesn’t make someone want to have sex. It helps the plumbing issues, they are ‘mechanical’. Man needs to want to have sex and be attracted to the woman for viagra to do it’s thing.

Don’t make his erections as some sort of a test of his attraction/love for you. Plenty of men desire their partners, but ‘plumbing’ fails them - either due to stress, physical or psychological issues. And especially now; that his confidence is affected - putting pressure on him to just fix it without medicine - or what? He is not man enough? Or not attracted to you enough - this can have the opposite effect.

He needs to see a doctor and do whatever doctor suggests and you just need to be supportive, not judging

‘Read up and understand’ -
sorry autocorrect

If his health is OK, why not Viagra? ED is a health issue that has medicine that can treat it very effectively. Just because it affects his penis you both don't want to try a treatment?

If he broke his leg I doubt you would both say "we aren't interested in having it reset, we want a natural cure".

Taking Viagra a few times would take the stress out of the situation for him and he may find that his erections return.

Death grip

Twice a month doesn’t sound too bad if he’s dealing with stress and/or illness. Agree with PP re Viagra. It may solve the problem whereas you discouraging use of medication just heaps more pressure on him and creates another source of stress.

Yep Viagra - don't dismiss it. There still needs to be attraction and sexual stimulus for it to work. It can be a game changer.

Yep, would agree with this, the viagra will give him the the “support”, that things will work, think of it as safety net.

I’ve nothing to add to the good advice already given, I just wanted to say that I wish the “death grip” & “porn addiction” people would fuck off. Seriously.

Thanks everyone for the answers.

He doesn't watch porn, I know that for 100% fact.

Will speak to him re viagra, I thought it was bad for your heart or something (I obviously haven't read up on it)

There is no pressure for us to have sex, I love him with or without the sex.

Viagra was originally developed as a heart medicine.
what it’s famous for now is really the side effect.

This is a fantastic post. Men are not dildos with legs, their sex drive can be affected by stress, insecurity, pressure and other external factors just like women's sex drives can.