So rebound relationships ever work?

[Ellabelly]

I met a guy at work and it’s like we clicked instantly. We spend all day together at work, we have gone on several dates, always hanging out together at the weekends etc.

I recently learned I have a mutual friend with his ex, my mutual friend told me they split up very very recently. Like 2 months ago, my mutual friend also told me even though she ended it he has spoken to his ex a number of times, last week even he was telling her he’s grieving the relationship and he was sat thinking he doesn’t have her anymore and he lost his friend.

My friend also said even though ex ended things she wants him back but he’s not biting right now. I know this is a bit of drama, I’m not usually into drama, I’ve never had a relationship at work but I feel so differently about this guy. When I see him he’s so attentive, he’s so into me it doesn’t feel like he’s hung up on anyone

2 months isn’t necessarily a rebound relationship , it may have been ‘over’ for a long time before they actually split .
bare in mind the ex probably knows you have a mutual friend and is potentially feeding them what they want to/ what they want to get back to you .
he could well have said those things as part of nicely letting her down “ there’s no chance for us Denise it’s over, you were my best friend and I miss that but I’m afraid there’s no going back, “
denise repeats half the conversation to friend. You get the gist.
i have personally moved on quicker than that and it’s been no rebound! Enjoy your relationship and see what happens.

If your friends told her he's talking to you she's going to pretend he's desperate to be with her to put you off, isn't she? Trust his actions, not third hand gossip.

I'm still with my rebound 14 years later! was adamant I'd get back together with my ex a few months later and being with my now husband made me realise how toxic my previous relationship had been

A lot of people emotionally check out of relationships way before they actually leave. I know I did. I was in a shitty relationship and got with my, now dh a month after we split. I'd checked out months, even years before I split and tbh, when I met my dh he was like a breath of fresh air for me

The friend sounds like she's causing trouble going between you both. Dont listen to her, as long as it's fun and you enjoy his company, I don't think it matters how long it's been.

For me personally I’m not bothered too much about how long it’s been.

my friend isn’t really a stirrer normally. She said it in a way like be careful I think he’s still into her. Apparently they had an argument he went too far and she ended things in the argument, now they’ve been having conversations about their relationship. Friend apparently heard him say he is still grieving the relationship, and he was thinking how messed up things are he doesn’t have her anymore

I’m just weary ti get involved if he’s still hung up on her, I’m not going to be able to ask him.
I really enjoy coming into work just because he’s there

Be careful. Rebound relationships don’t look like you think they do…. Or not how I imagined anyway. I thought they’d be a bit “offish” - wistful looks to the horizon , pouring over photos. Nope. The guy I dated briefly was apparently very into me and although I was surprised given his circumstances I was to stupid / un-worldly to understand that this is what re-bound relationships look like. They’re trying to persuade themselves that they’re fine when they may be very much not be. My relationship came to a very abrupt end after a couple of months.

Doesn't sound good to me, either the fact things aren't resolved with ex, you feel you can't ask him and your personal and professional life sound blurred.

Take it very slow.

I think it completely depends, if it was just a rebound relationship I don't think there's a way to tell if it will work out because there is a variety of factors! I've just split up with someone and could move on with someone tomorrow if the opportunity arose, this is because my relationship has been awful for a long time and it's relief rather than sadness that it's come to an end, I feel very happy!

But with the given information from the friend, I would be very careful which is obviously difficult because he's not shown you anything to say he's still hung up on his ex, but it may be a nice distraction for him whilst he's sorting his own head out.

Can you bring up a conversation regarding ex relationships to try and gauge how he's feeling without throwing your friend under the bus