Am I overreacting?

[Jess871]

I found out recently that my partner last year messaged a girl that he met when taking his car in to service.
He added her on Instagram and messaged her - from what I understand there were a few messages. He said the messages weren't bad and that he was just thanking her for the service - she's not un-attractive which I'm sure helped.
This isn't the first time I've heard things but he says it's all just normal conversations with them- he says he's a social person.
We were together 7 years and I feel betrayed and embarrassed.
Am I overreacting or is this unacceptable?

If you want to thank the place that serviced your car, you sent it to the garage or take in a tin of Quality Street for the staff, you don't send personal messages to their attractive female employee.

I’d say that’s definitely unacceptable! He could have thanked for the service in person - there is no need to get her Instagram handle and add her/message her after on there. You say this isn’t the first time, and I’m afraid it probably won’t be the last…

Yeah he overstepped there, he went out of his way to find and message her on social media, I'd be fuming.

I’m a bit confused if you’re together now? If you are, no, it doesn’t sound ideal. If you’re not, it doesn’t make a difference now.

is he thanking her for servicing the car or him?

I'd be fuming. I'd class that as cheating in my opinion tbh!

Your partner is looking to date other women. Are you just going to hang around and tolerate this? He's a cheat, and most certainly not the first time.

Completely unacceptable.

He's a player and a sleaze.

Up your bar and dump him.

He's lying about the reasons he contacted her. He fancied her. Have you seen the messages. If not, ask to see them.

Am I overreacting or is this unacceptable

It's your boundary that's been crossed. Some people might be ok with 'just a few messages', some people might be ok with 'they only kissed, they didn't have sex', etc. Nobody can tell you the 'right' reaction, because there is no 'right' or 'wrong'. You need to act according to your feelings, not what some strangers on the internet tell you. All you have to do is make sure your actions represent your feelings, in a way you're comfortable with. You can't be 'too you'.