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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I stand my Ground?

7 replies

Caz19871 · 07/09/2022 13:58

Me and my ex are in the process of selling our jointly owned home and he has said we can't keep living together. He basically wants to try again and I've been through to much with him to try again - now because it's not going his way he's making it hard.
I don't want to leave the house - yet he thinks it's me that should.
We pay equal money but I could afford it on my own if I needed to.
Am I wrong for standing my ground and saying if he wants the space the he should leave?

OP posts:
DatingDinosaur · 07/09/2022 14:23

I suppose it depends on the reason you don’t want to leave?

If it’s because he told you that you should then that would seem a bit like cutting your nose off to spite your face.

If it’s because you love the house then is there a way you can buy him out?

Otherwise, once the house is sold, you’ll both have to leave anyway and it seems a bit .. pointless?

I, personally, wouldn’t want to be in a house with my ex (all the memories) and would want out as soon as I absolutely could. Clean slate. Fresh start. And all that.

Jess871 · 07/09/2022 14:40

The main reason is because I have no where else to go - plus I'll still be paying the mortgage as I'll be legally obliged to. In my eyes the breakdown of the relationship was due to him so I don't feel like I should be forced to go - I'd happily live amicably until the house is sold.

billy1966 · 07/09/2022 16:19

He has the problem, he should leave.

He's trying to bully you.

Any aggression towards you, call the police and have him removed.

Do not be financially disadvantaged because of him.

Be firm and stay out of his way.

Encourage him to move out if he is unhappy but tell him you are going nowhere until the house is sold.

Price the house to sell to speed things up.

DatingDinosaur · 07/09/2022 23:27

Jess871 · 07/09/2022 14:40

The main reason is because I have no where else to go - plus I'll still be paying the mortgage as I'll be legally obliged to. In my eyes the breakdown of the relationship was due to him so I don't feel like I should be forced to go - I'd happily live amicably until the house is sold.

Ahh, fair enough. Yeah, stand your ground and pray for a quick sale!

DayOfTheDestroyer · 07/09/2022 23:31

The house on mortgage will u get much after its sold with mortgage?

FarFromHome2 · 07/09/2022 23:59

You both have the right to stay there, although I think that it’s probably normal / fair for the partner who chooses to split up to be the one to move out.

Dery · 08/09/2022 00:17

“You both have the right to stay there, although I think that it’s probably normal / fair for the partner who chooses to split up to be the one to move out.”

I agree with this.

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