How are things in your house . DH

[unflappybelivabubble]

My DH works hard like many .
I'm a SAHM mainly because we have two children and he got offered a job where he could earn more than me and him combined but the job involved working away frequently and we were hitting childcare issues with no family support . He's doing well , children doing well at school and I do all home stuff .

His job also involves entertaining clients in evenings when he's working away . Again no problem and I have no worries there .

We've had a tricky year with teenage DS coming out the other end hopefully with support from SW .

We've been on holiday this year where i felt he was very detached from us as a family . I understand the need to sleeping in so two weeks of lie ins while I went in pools with children . No problem . But then he would virtually ignore me and children and chat to others . He is v sociable and talks to anyone .

Since coming home he's gone back to work and overnight stays . I think he does too many hours and he looks tired so again I try not to ask him to do anything that I can do , but he literally takes himself to other rooms when he's home , doesn't interact with children beyond hello

Last night he came home at 18:30 , had tea , children milling around . I tried to have a conversation but he said he was too tired and went upstairs . I

I tidied up , helped youngest with tidying her room and homework and into bed by 9 .

I came downstairs with washing and he was sat in kitchen on phone having a beer . I said I had just put youngest in bed if he wanted to go say goodnight ( she settles really well ) he said he would but he didn't .

Am I expecting too much asking him to give a bit of attention to children while he is home ?

At weekends he will join in family activities and sometimes takes out , cinema etc . If something special

But mostly he just doesn't want anyone to bother him while he's home and gives off leave me alone vibes .

Before I gave up work I had a hugely stressful job in SS . I would come home and have to find strength for toddler , tea and bedtimes homework etc and yes it was tough but I did it because I didn't want children to suffer because of my tiredness .

How much do your husbands in stressful working away jobs do in evenings .

Btw I don't expect his work jobs , just child interaction .

Thanks in advance

I don't think it's fair on you or your children. My Dad worked long hours when we were young but when he was home he was present and fun! Used to read to me before bed and help me with running practice for sports day, make my cereal in the mornings. Things like this kids never forget and he is one of my favourite people in the world. If your husband carries on I don't see him having much of a relationship with your

Your kids when they grow up

Sorry name change error but the sentiment is the same!

He loves his children but forgets to do things to let them know .

He can only realistically let them know by actually being with them. Love is a verb, so they say.

Have it out with him. Just come out with it, "You've checked out, do you actually want to be in this family?" then, "What do you plan to do to re-connect with the children?"

I used to be married to a man like this. And like your husband @unflappybelivabubble .

Turns out he was also having affairs. We are now divorcing and he chooses to see his children a few times a year.