I’m scared

[Shookethtothecore]

Hello,
im back on mumsnet a decade later as I got so much help with my divorce 10 years ago. I am embarrassed and horrified that I think I am in a similar position again. Worse actually.
my husband is a difficult man. But who isn’t I guess. The ins and outs of it don’t matter at this point I guess. I see a therapist and get support from that but I think I am at the limits of what I can take. Based on how he is with me when we are together. I’m worried he is going to make my life hell when we separate. I need to be prepared.
we have 3 children and I have always been a stay at home mum. He has built a very successful business in those years. I have no access to the accounts, don’t know what’s in them. I know he earns very well but I don’t have any proof. I hear dividends being mentioned. He gives me an allowance a month and pays all the bills.
I have recently started working part time from home. I have very little income and no savings.
he says he is selling the house and leaving. Can he even do that? There is no way I could pay rent or anything? Not yet anyway.
what do I do next? Ideally I would like him to rent for a while (he can easily afford it) whilst I get my head together and work out how I’m going to live.
I feel in shock tbh, numb. I don’t even know where to start I really never thought I would be in this position

You need a solicitor.

You’re married, so he can’t just sell the house and give you nothing.

Don’t agree to anything until you have legal advice. I’m sorry you’re going through this x

Speak to a solicitor as soon as possible. He can't just sell your house from under you. You're married, so assets are joint, and that includes his business.

If you know his company's name, then you can do a search on the Companies House website and find financial information on there, going back a number of years.

You need to see a solicitor. Is the house in his name only or joint names? If joint he cannot sell without your consent ( don’t sign anything without legal advice) Even if in his sole name it’s an asset of the marriage.
See a solicitor ASAP.
Call Women’s Aide for advice.

Thank you so much. The house is in both our name but we signed something where the % off ownership was slightly different as he put more deposit down and we weren’t married when we bought it. But we are married now.
will I be able to get universal credits or anything?!
I know I will be fine I can cope with nothing but my poor kids. I just want to make sure my kids are ok as best as they can be. I feel sick about doing this to my kids

My therapist also works with woman’s aid and she has been telling me that our relationship is abusive for a while. He keeps telling me it’s my fault tho and I keep trying to be what he needs me to be and I know I would drive myself insane for ever because I’m not sure if this is all my fault. Who has 2 divorces?! It’s got to be me in some ways tho.
I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong

I’ve had 2 divorces ( and third DP bloody died on me) and I’m an okay person.
Afaik you’ll be able to claim Universal credit and he will have to pay child support.
Gather some info together on him — his NI number, any tax numbers, company name(s) Any paperwork in the house photocopy it or photograph.

Thank you. I think I’m a nice person. I have loads of friends and I’m close with my family. I don’t fall out with people. My therapist thinks I’m “normal” I just don’t know what he wants from me. God knows I’m trying.
ok. I will start doing that. Thank you

I feel sick about doing this to my kids

He's doing it to them. He has a responsibility to provide for them and to ensure the separation is as easy on them as it can be.