Had a termination because I knew I couldn’t manage another child right now

[Midsmumof2]

Got 2 young kids already, docs said I needed to wait at least 2 years before having another - my second child is just 2. I was only 2 weeks pregnant and spoke to my partner who would have kept the baby but said he got it and understood - fast forward 2 weeks - termination done via tablet and were attending my brothers wedding - he decides to tell my dad what happened despite me asking him not to tell anyone - on my own brothers wedding? I stated at the time that I wouldn’t even tell my best friend. I am now angry and upset which is making him angry with me?
He’s saying he wasn’t consulted and he can confide in my father if he wants??? He is actually angry I’m angry? I did mention to him that one factor in my decision although not the main one was that 5 years after getting engaged we are still not married??? We have 2 kids but I’m approaching 40 and still we haven’t got married. 3 years ago I even did a PowerPoint presentation on where we could hold a small wedding in which I stated how much I loved him and just wanted to be his wife. Because I said all this he is now saying I’m ungrateful and I’ve basically got no right to be angry??? I’m just so hurt by this! It was not his place to tell anyone, especially my own father? Am I going mad? He’s blown up at me over this?? Now because I mentioned marriage I’m an ungrateful cow? Wtf?

At the end of the day, your body your choice. That's not discounting the fact that he probably does have emotions around it. Not the best time to chat though is it...

It is absolutely your choice as it's your body. He had every right to be upset about it, but, I would expect my DH to keep our business to his himself if I asked him to.

I do think you sound a bit silly saying a contributing factor is that you are not married, when you already have 2 children, but you are well within your rights to be angry he won't marry you, but to relate it to this baby seems a bit off

He should not have breached your right to confidentiality. Why did he have to tell your father? I think his anger is maybe because he realises he’s in the wrong?

What are you both doing about contraception ?

I agree that he should not have told your father

It probably came out, people make mistakes and there’s a chance eg with drink or in an in depth conversation it came out.

I dont know, I have mixed feelings here. Whilst it wasn't his body, he still had emotions and his actions suggest that he is struggling with the way things have turned out.

Whilst his choice of confidante and timing leaves a lot to be desired, I would look past this and dig deeper.

Totally your choice, agree with pp regarding contraception.

Your DP is allowed to have feelings too, admittedly his choice of confidante and timing were terrible. He should not have done that. If the decision was made together, it should’ve been kept private in my opinion. He may not have been happy, but he seems to have acknowledged it was your choice.

If marriage is important to you, I’d make it very clear you’ll not have more children unless you get married.

Whilst his choice of confidante and timing leaves a lot to be desired

I think that's an understatement tbh.
And that's also the issue here. If he had told a close friend, that would have been a totally different thing. But the OP's father? At family wedding? He really couldn't have found worse to be sure he will break the OP's trust