In need of some guidance - relationships

[kodabear15]

Hello people of this community :)

I am unfamiliar with this forum but other advice forums have been watered down and are essentially useless. I (F21) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (M26) for over 2 years now.

During the course of this relationship, I have tried to break up with him for numerous reasons but have never been successful. The reasons have largely stayed the same as there hasn't been any change. I would never classify our relationship as stable, except for maybe a couple months here and there.

We have lived together for almost the entirety of our relationship. We moved in together after one month (I was issued an ultimatum - should've walked away here). Being that we live together, I have an incredibly difficult time dealing with the aftermath of the "breakup" once I have said that its what I think is best for myself. Essentially, I would say I can't do it any longer, he would beg me to stay and he would only then exhaust every option to solve the problems, we cry for a while, somehow I end up convinced to stay and I am immediately back in the same spot.

I am exhausted. We did all of this less than two months ago. When I say its been a reoccurring situation - I mean it!

I am essentially looking for some kind of advice/guidance on how people have navigated breaking up while living together. We only moved a month ago and signed a 1 year lease from that date. It is a two bedroom apartment so I would be able to have my own room if I wanted. I'm in school and working in a bigger city so moving back to my parents would be too much of a commute everyday. I can always sublet/assign to someone should I really need to leave, but I enjoy this place. I would want to be here until at least the end of the year maybe even longer.

This being said - the advice/guidance would be in regards to how I can 'put my foot down' about this and avoid being convinced to stay or if it is even a good idea to stay here. Should I really just move out if I plan on ending the relationship?

I know no one can tell me what to do - that isn't what I want. I just need to hear how other people managed in these situations, what worked and what didn't, and how I can avoid being manipulated into trying again and prolonging the inevitable.

I appreciate any insight, guidance, comments, or personal experience anyone has to offer. I look forward to reading what this community has to say :)

Thank you

K

If i were you I would contact the land lord and have a chat with them (confidentially) about your situation and see if he/she would release you from the lease, it clearly won't work with you two living together if he will just beat you into submission to take him back (emotionally speaking I mean)

If you are going to end the relationship you can’t stay there it would be hopelessly tense and starting any new relationship would be impossible, so you have to leave, return home if only for a few weeks until you find a new place.
Or of course he could move out, it probably easier for you to, then either he finds another flat mate or gives up the flat.
A clean break is the only way.

I would secretly talk to the landlord about being taken off the tenancy.

Then when the time comes, move your stuff out while he's at work. If you're likely to cave then meet him at a neutral place (say a coffee shop) and explain it's over and you won't cave.

If your landlord says no to being taken off the tenancy then you try and negotiate paying the landlord half the rent until the contract is up while living elsewhere or you break up around the time your contract comes up for renewal. It sounds like you are in a toxic place so I hope that the landlord agrees to you taking your name off the lease early.