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Original poster

Holiday by myself

28 replies

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 06/09/2022 09:59

I'm having a few days away by myself. It's been so hectic lately it's much needed before the new semester begins. I noticed when in the bathroom how good it is not to have my ex around.

No moaning about small bathrooms. He's a big bloke - not fat but very tall, 6'6", and left the bathroom like an otter had been there

No endless pubs

Seeing what I want without "are you ready?" before I was ready to leave

No demand for sex morning and evening and getting out early enough in the morning instead of being expected to spend the morning shagging

No general whingeing about the accommodation. It was always left up to me to book it but he always grumbled about something

I enjoyed his company much of the time but it was trying at times too. Anyone else done this?

OP posts:
Namechangeforthe · 06/09/2022 10:15

My ex was horrific on holiday. It was like all the worst aspects of his personality were magnified on holiday.

The last time we went he got really stressed, shouted at the kids who were doing nothing wrong when we were trying to leave. He ended up having a shouty meltdown in the restaurant at the airport and I remember being mortified at the look of pity that the waiter gave me. I really wanted to tell him “don’t worry, we’re separating as soon as we get back home”.

He used to spend the whole morning in bed and not get up until after lunch time so we couldn’t even go out for lunch, I ended up taking the kids out myself and it was much better to be on my own with them.

When we were discussing the separation he asked if we could perhaps still go on holiday together for the sake of the kids and I really struggled to stay polite.

Since then our holidays have been calm and relaxing, which is basically how I think holidays are supposed to be. I can hardly believe how bad things used to be.

ElegantPuma · 06/09/2022 19:34

I bloody love a 'fly and flop' holiday to myself. Just suiting myself all day; eating crisps in my pants on the balcony if I feel like it (the glamour 😂); not worrying if / why XH is in a mood and walking twenty feet behind me. Not tiptoeing around the room and waiting hours for him to wake up. Like the PP, I can't belive the cr@p I put up with when I was married.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 06/09/2022 19:38

Ever been to Greece and seen those lovely jewellery shops in resorts? I used to love window shopping in those and was always hurried along. First holiday after split I went to Corfu and spent AGES just mooching up and down the main street looking at jewellery and trinkets. I might even have worn jeans because he didn't like those either (senior banking execs wives don't wear M&S jeans, doncherknow).

AuntieMarys · 06/09/2022 19:41

Oh yes

Mother87 · 06/09/2022 20:28

Also yes yes and yeeeeesssssss

Twawmyarse · 06/09/2022 20:34

Sounds idyllic. I'm married but I often fantasise about doing a Shirley valentine.

Jumpking · 06/09/2022 20:41

I started taking lone holidays towards the end of my marriage.

No late start mornings.
No "where shall we eat?" I suggest somewhere "oh no, it's too x,y,z"
No moaning it's too hot/cold/wet/sunny
No feeling like a mum dragging a grown adult partner through the airport into each stage
No having to see crap I don't want to see.

And the killer for me...

No standing around for hours while X takes photo after photo after photo trying to get the perfect shot. I walk from A to B without stopping. Sheer bliss.

All these things are such a great feeling, aren't they ladies?

(Having said that I went on holiday last month with new partner and it was such a wonderful relaxing experience that I'd never had before)

IsJohnReadyToMakeAComeback · 06/09/2022 21:05

OP he expects sex morning and night ?

You know you don't have to have sex with him don't you ?

NavaniKholinRocks · 06/09/2022 21:12

I love holidaying on my own! And I’m happily married too. But with two young kids, holidays aren’t really relaxing even if they are fun. There’s just something so freeing about setting my own schedule and not having to take anyone else into consideration. In fact I’m going away next weekend and I am counting down the days!!!

INeverSawAPurpleCow · 06/09/2022 21:25

IsJohnReadyToMakeAComeback · 06/09/2022 21:05

OP he expects sex morning and night ?

You know you don't have to have sex with him don't you ?

Reread the OP?

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 06/09/2022 21:29

IsJohnReadyToMakeAComeback · 06/09/2022 21:05

OP he expects sex morning and night ?

You know you don't have to have sex with him don't you ?

I'm not with him anymore. I dumped him after last year's holiday!

OP posts:
EstherTW · 06/09/2022 21:37

Ladies,

Help me if you can. I sort of love this, and sort of don't. It's eating on your own in a restaurant. A nice one, where everyone is dressed up and with a partner. How do you go out anywhere nice on your own? It sometimes feels like an ordeal, rather than a treat! Last time, I hid in my room having room service rather than go down to dinner alone. I love restaurants and love food! How do people manage to enjoy and not feel self-conscious. There were so many things about my ex that were awful on holiday, but I sometimes feel like I need a man to do anything I want to do, other than yoga breaks! I think I need some help to be able to do this. Tell me how you all manage not to feel as I do!

iveseenitinthemovies · 06/09/2022 21:43

I am going to turkey next week for three lovely weeks alone. I will probably burst into tears of relief once in departures, Time alone in a new place seems to feed my soul. To not need to consider another person feels wonderfully liberating. I hope you have a fantastic time away.

79andnotout · 06/09/2022 21:43

@EstherTW take a book or a magazine. I don't holiday on my own but I travel solo for work most weeks and this is what I do. And eavesdrop on other people's conversations. There are usually some couples having a really shit time (see above).

EstherTW · 06/09/2022 21:47

@79andnotout Thank you! I always wonder if the waiters or the other diners think I am lonely and sad ..... Eavesdropping is a good tip!

79andnotout · 06/09/2022 21:51

They might think you're lonely and sad if you give off that air, but if you're giving kickass independent woman vibes then they'll probably be jealous. Most likely they'll be thinking about themselves, not you, anyway.

KosherDill · 06/09/2022 22:02

EstherTW · 06/09/2022 21:37

Ladies,

Help me if you can. I sort of love this, and sort of don't. It's eating on your own in a restaurant. A nice one, where everyone is dressed up and with a partner. How do you go out anywhere nice on your own? It sometimes feels like an ordeal, rather than a treat! Last time, I hid in my room having room service rather than go down to dinner alone. I love restaurants and love food! How do people manage to enjoy and not feel self-conscious. There were so many things about my ex that were awful on holiday, but I sometimes feel like I need a man to do anything I want to do, other than yoga breaks! I think I need some help to be able to do this. Tell me how you all manage not to feel as I do!

I've been traveling solo since my late teens (I'm 59) including overseas, and it never occurred to me to feel self-conscious about dining alone, or attending the theater, or taking tours, or anything else.

People don't care or notice -- and even if they did, so what?

I always kept a small paperback book in my bag, and of course nowadays with smartphones one can read or browse at table, discreetly, even in a nice restaurant.

Sometimes one has conversations with interesting people at the bar or outdoor cafe. If not, there's plenty to look at and enjoy.

Unicorn2022 · 06/09/2022 22:38

I don't get the chance to holiday alone as all of my annual leave is used to cover school holidays but I am going on a work trip to Frankfurt next week for a fortnight and am beyond excited about it. I love being on my own.

EstherTW · 06/09/2022 22:43

@KosherDill Thank you! I often want to go to the theatre and have no-one to go with. I can see some of you are so good at being alone, thanks for the tips.

IsJohnReadyToMakeAComeback · 06/09/2022 23:20

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 06/09/2022 21:29

I'm not with him anymore. I dumped him after last year's holiday!

Show quote history

Ohhhhhh ! I missed the ex thing!

Going away on your own is fabulous. I've got a DP and still regularly go away by myself. Love it !

Mix56 · 06/09/2022 23:30

I have recently stayed in a flat (actually two times now) on my own as my DC was in hospital. Oh the fucking JOY, (well not the hospital part obvs)
Sleeping when I wanted ,showering when & if, eating when & if, mooching the city, walking miles to & fro to hospital just taking a different route each time, doing some exhibitions, window shopping, NOT eating, not talking, just enjoying being me on my own. I love that flat, I want one, small, clean, mine...

Jumpking · 07/09/2022 06:12

EstherTW · 06/09/2022 22:43

@KosherDill Thank you! I often want to go to the theatre and have no-one to go with. I can see some of you are so good at being alone, thanks for the tips.

Oh definitely do this.

Not only do you get to enjoy some amazing shows, being a single means you can often pick up a great bargain by arriving at the box office 20mins before the show starts.

I've had some amazing £150+ seats for under £30.

At Phantom a few years back a woman I got chatting to next to me felt "inspired" to go to the theatre alone next time rather than wait for a friend to be available to join her.

Report back when you've been able tell us what a wonderful time you've had on your first solo theatre trip.

Dozycuntlaters · 07/09/2022 16:48

I'm going away on my own in January to somewhere I've always wanted to go to. I just decided that if I wait until I have a decent partner to go with, I may never get to go. I am apprehensive about it as its a long way away but I'm hoping it will be wonderful and empowering and I am sure I will meet people I can chat to there. Fingers crossed.

CirreltheSquirrel · 07/09/2022 16:54

I'm going away on my own next week. It's a conference in a city/country I've never finished before then I'm staying out there for a long weekend on my own. I invited my partner but he doesn't really like cities so decided he didn't want to fly out. I'm looking forward to it - we've just had a fab holiday together and there's no problem with the relationship, but I do miss the sort of city breaks I used to do when I was single and it will be far better doing one alone than dragging him round after me.

writergirl007 · 08/09/2022 00:09

The "are you ready?" bit brought back
memories of cohabitation.

"Yes I'm ready, if I'm going to the pub/restaurant/cafe in my pants with wet hair and no make up. That's how I normally go out?"