Break up

[Whatacrocof]

Hi all I have posted here previously. Bit of history I met my ex 6 years ago with a casual relationship for 4 (his choice) and in a relationship for the past two years. I’m this time he has never said ILY. I have felt him becoming more distant recently and three days after we got back from holiday he broke up with me. He’s struggled with hitting the big 5 0 and has been quite vocal about it. We had a long chat this evening I cried most of it😟 he just said he still can’t tell me he loves me and needs to find happiness. Gosh this hurts so much. My MH has been so so bad the past few years and I wonder if that was a factor.

His emotionally unavailable. Don’t waste another minute. I know a break up hurts- but there really is better out there than someone who doesn’t care about you enough to even tell you he loves you.

Don’t waste more time, that would be foolish, push through the heart ache, get better and start again.

@Isittrueornot thank you for replying. My anxiety and depression is so bad atm too. He only ever loved his sons mum (they separated after 4 years in 2001). I always wondered if he had got over her. This break up will have zero effect on him whilst I’m in bits

I’m in work and keep crying 😭. Please tell me this gets easier.

Yes, it does get easier. You need to get your anxiety under control if you can, so you can tackle this and be ok. Breaking up is the worst and I'm sorry this has happened to you. You need all of your strength right now so eat well, exercise and sleep. Soon you will be wondering how you could have stayed with someone who isn't or couldn't tell you that they love you. Plenty of men out there would jump at the chance with you, I'm sure X

@rrf thank you for replying. I’m already on meds for anxiety and depression and have a therapist. It got so bad I couldn’t cope when he wasn’t about it was like I was craving something from him, he could never say anything nice to me. My self esteem is zero. X

I'm glad you have support x I'm sure your therapist has spoken to you about attachment styles, if not have a look. It might be worth looking into why you feel this way and dealing with it internally, instead of transfering it onto a craving feeling for someone else. You will be ok xx

Also, your self esteem belongs to YOU. Don't give it away to him to ruin. You deserve so much more than what you are getting right now, and you will recognise that in time x

Rip off the plaster OP. Your new life starts today.